Early Intervention = Options and Opportunity

I am extremely fortunate to be forever connected to the gymnastics community I grew up with, traveled the country and some the world with through much of my childhood.  It is simply phenomenal that after all these years, we continue to learn from and lean on one another in challenging times.  Evolving from teammates, to friends to family, the bond I have with those who trained with me from Class 3 through the Elite Level is sometimes indescribable. The situations endured, adventures across the country and around the world coupled with the achievements and failures we shared are priceless and everlasting.  Like many other sports gymnastics is two dimensional in focus with the team and individual representation, however unique to any other sport, I believe gymnastics requires a combined mental toughness and physical strength unlike any other.

Aside from this unique aspect there are many topics that intertwine all Elite Level athletes.  I often stumble upon Facebook posts referencing the similarities around what happens to athletes when they retire from the sport they love and the only life they lived and breathed day in and day out for years, and sometimes decades.  While the latest article discussing the difficulty to transition into a post sport life mentions 6 main challenges one may face, all relevant I might add, Loss of Identity hit closest to home for me.   After all, starting right around 1982 my focus was simply on doing whatever I needed to win a US Championship Title and earn a spot on the '88 Olympic Team.  By the time I was in 5th grade I was leaving school an hour before the last bell, mom would pick me up and drive 30 minutes to the gymnastics facility where I trained.  She would head home for my brother while I spend the next 3-4 hours 3-4 days a week in the gym where my dad would show up on his way home from work and drive me home. From there it was leftovers from whatever mom cooked up for dinner that night, homework until my eyes began to close and then off to bed. 

I started middle school the following year and in that same year my gymnastics career took off.  Now instead of 3-4 days a week at 3-4 hours I was in the gym 5-6 days a week for upwards of 5.5 hours a day; only in school enough hours to take major subject classes and electives necessary to graduate.  In addition, I started traveling with my private club to competitions around the country; sometimes as close as Maryland and other times a 5-hour flight to California or Nevada.  There was also the occasional "dual meet" out of the country to places like Italy and England. 

The year I turned 12(1984) things seemed to really pick of speed as I made the US Jr. National Team and began representing the USA at international competitions; the first 2 meets being the Canadian Classic in Calgary and the following year the TBS Cup in Japan.  An honorable mention: I was selected to participate in the east coast portion of the '84 Olympic Gold Medal tour with some of my idols: Tracy Talavera, Julianne McNamara and Kathy Johnson to name a few.  An amazing experience that I will always treasure as one of my favorite gymnastic moments in time.  Over the next several years the future seemed very bright and the super highs well outweighed the dreaded lows.  I won competitions, especially uneven bars and my most memorable moment during my entire gymnastics career was the day I became the first person ever to compete a full-in back out dismount on uneven bars.  It was a game changer in the sport and in my confidence level.  

Over the next few years there were many successful moments that led to more highs than lows and in the fall of my Sophomore year I was asked by USGF (now USA Gymnastics) to represent the US in the Catania Invitational in Sicily.  I didn't care that I had missed weeks of school at a time traveling from meet to meet and lugging my school books with me to every competition. Why not? Because I was at the top of my game and well on my way to accomplishing the goal of becoming an Olympian.  In some ways, I would say I was an addict. What was I addicted to you may ask? The rush, the adrenaline, the thought of one day becoming an Olympian, but toward the end of 1987 injuries struck in avalanche fashion, the highs were replaced by lows that had me wondering what I was doing, where I was going and if I was as good as I once believed myself to be. 

I had endured great pain in the past and competed with injuries from stress fractures in my heels, broken fingers and even a concussion, so my heart said keep going, you can do this, yet my head was telling me something different.  From torn ligaments in my wrist to compression fracture in my back I was out of commission for some time, I grew over 3 inches, gained over 10lbs and lost my way.  I started wondering what life would be like going forward knowing I had failed myself, my parents, my coaches and those that looked up to me.  I was deflated and defeated with no focus, goals or future in mind.  It was then and only then that choosing a college became a discussion in the house along with the reminder from my parents that I was to either continue training to ensure I could keep full scholarship I was offered or the car they bought me would be taken away and I would be responsible for paying my way through school.  For some this would have been enough to "kick them" back into a state of motivation; for me it did the opposite and threw me right into a Twister filled with debris; picking up speed as it spun around and around with no end in sight. Despite my loss of love for the sport and motivation I trained and went to college continuing to do gymnastics. 

With the structure of my day to day life gone forever, I lost focus, longed for those closest to me who truly understood me, felt empty, confused, out of place…………. I didn't know who I was anymore and none of my college teammates or school friends seemed to understand the deep sense of loss I felt.  They were all having the time of their lives and while I pretended to do the same but the truth is I was falling deeper and deeper into a place I didn't like, spiraling out of control with no focus, no structure and no motivation to do anything but self-destruct. 

Throughout the next 4 years I spent a lot of time icing injuries and making my share of mistakes and bad decisions when it came to classes, gymnastics and my social life.  On the outside, I was this happy person while on the inside I was slowly fading away.  College should have been the time of my life, as it was for most of my teammates, especially my best friend.  By my Junior year, to try and keep myself grounded and regain focus on what was important, I found myself calling her constantly.  She had made amazing friends, was learning new skills and accomplishing goals.  It was the complete opposite college experience I was having and while I was very happy that she was happy it wasn't helping me get back on track.  As my college years went on I continued to feel less and less in control of my life and my future.

My reason for posting this blog is to teach others that Early Intervention has many different benefits. In this case, I didn't have a disability that held me back from meeting my full potential, instead I had missed opportunities to create an alternate reality should I need one.  Had someone in my life pulled me aside to ground me in the truth that only a handful of people made it to the Olympics and reality was I may not make it so I better pull together Plan B. Someone telling me I needed a Plan B may have PISSED me off, but at least it would have given me options and a path if my dream of one day becoming an Olympian was cut short.  Life can change in the blink of an eye and giving our kids the tools to choose wisely when the road shifts is priceless.

When I look back, had someone proactively sat down with me to discuss this very important potentially realistic crossroad I could have created goals, direction and a mental picture of what life would look like after gymnastics.  Instead I became a lost soul, unable to see some future past gymnastics and surrounded by people who just didn't get it and thought I should be able to forget the past and move forward with no regrets, no disappointment etc.  To them gymnastics was an activity with a means to an end whereas for me gymnastics was my life; the only life I had known from the time I was 5 years old.  The gym was my safe place, where I felt most comfortable and could feed my addiction of having a purpose, feeling invincible and knowing that others pushed me to be better, stronger and faster just as I had done for them.  It was safe, structured and with constant feedback.

I will wrap up this one with a quote from my very first coach: "When we hold back our best efforts because of what happened in the past, we are letting the past decide the future."  I spent a long time letting my past decide my future and always wonder what would have happened if someone had intervened early on with guidance/ideas on an alternative plan.  As a mother, I have learned to use those lessons to guide my kids through their life journey; teaching them that although there will be disappointments along the way, there is no need to lose faith as they always have options.