Communication is Key

Many take for granted the ability to communicate, the power of words and impact the ability to speak or not speak has on oneself and those around us.   I admit that I used to take all of this for granted, but no more, now I am grateful for the abilities, skills and tools innately within me.  How about you?

Humor me by doing as I ask here………. sit back, close your eyes and try to imagine yourself unable to verbally communicate with your children, your spouse, your parents, your co-workers, an acquaintance or even a stranger who may have asked you a question.  Now let's try this one more time but slightly different focus………sit back, close your eyes and try to imagine yourself unable to comprehend and/or process something or anything your children, your spouse, your parents, your co-workers, an acquaintance or even a stranger said to you.  For those of you who did this experiment with me, how did it make you feel? In all honesty, visualizing this situation as it was happening to me, leaves me feeling frustrated, annoyed, angry, irritated, sad, alone, isolated and my list could go on and on. 

Wondering why I asked you to play along with me -  It's because I wanted you to feel, even if just for a moment, the way my oldest son felt for the first 6-8 years of his life.  Think about it for a minute - I mean really think about how hard it must be to live in today's world, know you are different, craving to be normal, yet don't have the innate abilities that others are so often born with and take for granted. In a future post I will go into detail about the social behaviors, both actions and reactions, that were a direct result of his disorder and the "missing social skills" but for today I will stick with communication as it relates to Words, not actions.

Some Partial results from a Google search define "Word" and "Speech" as follows:

WORD - a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing

SPEECH - the expression of or the ability to express thoughts and feelings by articulate sounds

Our son struggled to come up with words, let alone be able to speak them.  New parents and unsure what to do, I went into laser focus mode and began doing research, investigating options, sought guidance from other first-time parents and certainly professionals that had experience in areas our child was struggling.  The ultimate goal was to gain an understanding of our reality, process what it meant and most importantly, provide him with any/all relevant early intervention support services we could find as a result.  We had no idea what we were going to uncover, and in all honesty, being a first-time mom, wondered if I was overthinking and seeing things that weren't there.  Oh, how I wish that was the case - not only was I not overthinking, the number of issues that came to light as we peeled back the layers, one by one, was enough to make anyone implode.  But, we couldn't implode nor escape because we are his parents, brought him into this world and owed him the happiest, most fulfilling life possible.

Quick reminder of his results:

Communication - two parts to this one - auditory comprehensive and expressive communication

A 25% delay in his development of expressive communication

Grateful to have the results, confused by what they mean and unsure what we do next the best decision was to trust that the recommendations for next steps made sense.  So, we entrusted them with our son, welcoming them into our home to begin Speech/Language services. Why? Because while we had no idea what any of this had to do with his ability/inability to use his words and/or follow simple 1-2 step directions like others his age, we had nothing to lose and everything to gain by moving forward with their recommendation.  This, my friends, acquaintances and those I don't even know, was our first of many experiences with early intervention. 

As I reflect on that initial decision, almost 9 years ago now, to accept the offer for speech/language services, I am overrun by a sense of calm and absolutely no regrets, knowing we would not be where we are today, had we listened to those that told us not to seek help.   The decision was 90% gut instinct and 10% our pediatrician standing in the room with us asking "what do you have to lose by getting a free assessment".  When we said nothing, she smiled, left the room for a few minutes and returned with information on where we should call to schedule the intake/initial assessment. 

I will end this one with a lesson learned very early on in our journey: There will always be those that think you are overreacting, others who say it will pass with age, and even some who think they can "fix" your child if you give them some time.  I am here to tell you, regardless of what they say, TRUST YOUR GUT.  Had I let their words, emotions, opinions and even some of the test results guide our decisions, who knows where our son would be today.  I am 100% confident that Collaborative Communication is a key ingredient and had we not followed our gut, our son would never have learned the skills necessary to be successful in school(academically, socially and emotionally) let alone be the 5th Grade GT student he is is today.