Inner workings

It doesn't matter if you have learning differences or not, this pandemic has thrown a curve ball at all of us.  While we are in the same ocean, we are not all in the same boat. Every person is going through their own journey and I suspect the inner workings are being challenged in all of us.  

I felt today's topic was important to share as a way to reach out and help others understand they are not alone and that there are so many ways to help one another. Often times we don't know what we don't know and that fact causes us to feel helpless, alone and lost in the journey.  Our family has found Cranial Sacral therapy to be one of many outlets that help us stay grounded, bringing a feeling of calm and clarity.  In turn allowing us space to focus on what we can control and move through each day with a little less stress and frustration.  

Virtual learning has tampered with the inner workings of our youngest son's social, emotional, physical and mental well being.  I have no doubt many parents, caregivers and guardians are dealing with kiddos struggling with one or more of these areas as well.  

A few weeks ago I took our youngest son to see our cranial sacral therapist in hopes of helping relieve some stress from these struggles. 

As I sat watching him receive a cranial sacral treatment my mind wandered off.   What started as a typical session, saying his feet were having a dance party soon led to something I have never witnessed before. Not with me, my older son nor the son laying on the table.  

As the therapist gently placed her hands on his head and then around his sacrum, he melted off into another world.  

Perhaps I should have been petrified that he went to such a distant place, yet instead, in that moment, I was comforted that we came to see her. 

Comforted because it was clear that this was the very place his body wanted and needed to be. The place that would provide him relief and comfort as the inner workings of his nervous system, his mind and his body struggled to resolve their conflicts.  

When he came back from wherever he had drifted off, he described it as going into another body, a green and blue alien like body where he was able to stretch out and fly.  

The therapist moved onto his feet and while doing her magic I watched his body relax and a sense of relief come over his face. She noticed it too and asked him, yes asked my 10 year old, what does your body need now?  He told her his head felt "squished" and in response she smiled and said, yes it is a bit squished. She requested permission to revisit the part of his head that held this tension.   

So back to his head she went - gently placing her fingers on his temples. After a few brief moments, his head whipped side to side like someone had slapped him across the face on both sides, at super speed. In a matter of seconds his head came back to center and the words "that felt good" naturally flowed from him mouth. 

This therapy is hard to describe, if you haven't done it yourself. It is energy work and so much more. When done appropriately, it brings a sense of calm and balance to the internal system and outwardly allows one to see more clearly, process and ultimately provide the space to move through feelings and decisions.  

This child, our 2nd son, has complex ADHD and anxiety.  The triggers feed off one another, often times leaving Xander struggling to self regulate, make appropriate decisions and stay on topic.  This therapy helps regulate his inner workings bringing balance and continuity to his world. 

I was drawn to write about this topic today to show that there are many outlets to help yourself and your children.  When you find your tribe of people where you can share thoughts an ideas, you begin to feel hope, gain confidence, clarity and ultimately find your voice that leads to creating the change you wish to see in yourself, your child and in the world.  

I encourage you to comment with an outlet that has worked for you!

Coming Soon:

Group  discussions focused on 

Topics important to parents of students with learning differences 

Website found here ->  https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite/how-we-collaborate

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

  

Vulnerability

What does it mean to be Vulnerable?  Simply stated:

To Me 

It means courage 

It shows one's strength rather than weakness

It provides opportunity for choices to deal with the hand you are dealt 

For Me 

Being vulnerable provides space to:

Let others in

To accept what has happened

Seek understanding on how to handle situations 

Gain the courage to move through whatever comes my way 

Let emotions flow

Open a pathway to varying viewpoints on decisions

Bring forth the reality that decisions come with consequences

See how consequences lead to choices and more decisions 

Understand everything is a choice 

Within me 

Vulnerability plays an important part in every choice and decision I make, personally and professionally

What does Vulnerability mean to you? 

 

Coming Soon:

Group  discussions focused on 

Parent Education and Advocacy for students with learning differences 

  

Website found here ->  https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite/how-we-collaborate

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Calm Clear and Curious

In my Lessons Learned post, I mentioned being calm, clear and curious.  Today I thought I would dive a bit deeper into what that means to me.

To Be Calm 

Ability to compartmentalize what is coming toward me, setting aside emotions and allowing objectivity to prevail

To Be Clear 

Taking the time to set an agenda, create important topics to be discussed so that others understand my intention

To Be Curious 

Willingness to show up in service and providing a pathway for understanding of others prior to responding with words that help pull together what was said with what you understand 

To Be Calm, Clear and Curious

Threading all 3 leads to collaboration, understanding and progress toward common goals.

What does Being Calm, Clear and Curious mean to you?

Coming Soon:

Group  discussions focused on 

Parent Education and Advocacy for students with learning differences

Website found here ->  https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite/how-we-collaborate

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

   

Lessons Learned

Whether pushed toward or stumbled upon the mountain of lessons learned through this journey I am grateful for what each has taught me. Some lessons were easily internalized and others took me years to recognize and acknowledge as lessons.  Once open to forgiving myself for the shame I felt, the part I played or the choice I made in that situation, I was open to reflection and understanding of what the lesson taught me and how I would choose to use that knowledge going forward.  

It is the lessons learned through circumstances and situations that led me to find my voice.  Every lesson learned comes from a choice and how we deal with it leads us down a road of additional choices.  

When we come from a place a fear and scarcity, we get one result.

When we come from a place of trust and understanding we get a different result.

When we come from a place of objectivity - we are open to change, open to receive and open to opportunities that are presented to us.  

I lived through and coached hundreds through this evolution and transformation.  I know first-hand how free one feels about their decisions and interactions when calm clarity, confidence and curiosity is established. 

In finding my voice I learned to Be Calm, Be Curious and Be Clear

When those at the table seek to understand before being understood pathways for collaboration are opened, creative solutions are created and supports and interventions implemented timely, benefiting everyone, especially the child.   

Coming Soon - group sessions 

 Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite 

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Preparation - How important is it?

Have you ever walked into a meeting thinking you were ready only to be blindsided by simple topics you were capable of/should have been prepared to respond to right there and then?  How did you feel when that happened? Did it cause you to react with emotion or were you able to step back, take a deep breathe, regroup and respond with objectivity?  You may be asking yourself what does each look like, so let me provide examples:

Reacting with emotion is something like, "I didn't know we were going to cover that. We need to move on" It comes from a place of defensiveness and not of one that wants to engage in the discussion, ultimately halting any forward progress.

Responding with objectivity sounds something like, "wow what a great question. I wasn't expecting that but let's talk about it" comes from a place of curiosity and seeking to understand - allowing the conversation to continue with steps forward toward resolution.    

You may look at the above and feel like what I wrote is semantics, and perhaps it is, however perception is reality and I have seen countless people interpret each in ways I reference above.  It either causes the group in discussion to lean in and collaborate or pull back and disconnect.  Emotions tend to bind us to outcomes while objectivity allows us to remain grounded in the present, open to change, open to receiving and open to opportunity.  

As I lean in and create a platform for parents to find their voice these principals become a core part of the foundation upon which I stand.  

Onto today's topic: Preparation - How important is it?  The answer - Extremely! All situations(a meeting, a competition, a bike ride, a test etc.) require preparation.  Of course preparation could mean stretching, visualizing, researching, putting thoughts on paper and sometimes hours of practice.  Regardless, it is an input of every positive outcome.

Here is a sampling of how one can go about preparing.  

Gather the facts: When you reference a topic, be certain to have the facts together. Samples and observations are key.

Write it down: When you write down your thoughts, it allows time to process, brings clarity and conciseness to the words you choose and prepares you for a positive, interactive and engaging discussion

Ask Questions: No one expects you to have all the answers nor understand every word being said in the meeting.  When you don't know what you don't know you can't participate!  If you aren't sure what was said or something doesn't make sense, ask for clarification or an example. 

When you understand what questions to ask, learn how to ask them and what to do when someone replies with an answer that confuses or frustrates you, a whole new world of interaction emerges. 

Why is this so important? Great question - When you trust yourself enough to lean into your truth with confidence and clarity you will find that anything is possible. 

Coming Soon - group sessions on these topics and so much more.  

 Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Filled With Detours and No Directions

Journey's come with detours and no directions.   Start stop, stall, U-Turn, roadblocks and yes, sometimes even dead-ends.  I have learned how the lessons taught along the way help us course correct, redirect, sometimes stop us in our tracks, and ultimately, whether we know it or not, lead us to exactly where we are meant to be.  Of course we will question decisions, react vs. respond with answers, get frustrated by roadblocks during our travels, often caused by the very thoughts we put in our minds for fear of unknow, lack of trust in ourselves, others or perhaps because we just don't know what we don't know. Often getting get stuck in a traffic circle of what if's and why not's along the way.  Eventually finding our way out of the circle.  Sound familiar?  If so, I encourage you to give yourself the space to reflect without shame nor judgement, on how far you have come, how much you have done for your child or a child you know - I suspect if you dig deep enough - you will find moments of gratitude.  Perhaps not on the same shores, yet certainly on similar roads with bumps, turns, cliffs from time to time.    

Allow yourself to Be vulnerable, Be courageous enough to ask for help and Be OK: saying I don't know - asking for help - not having the answers because sometimes it really is OK not being ok.

Today's topic differs slightly because of my most recent detour I unintentionally gave myself the opportunity to learn the gift of vulnerability, focusing on what I can control so I could show up at the highest level of worthiness and value.  I have learned the art of  engaging, influencing and impacting those who are willing to lean in and listen.  Ironically as I was leading others through their personal and professional transformation - they were helping me get back in touch with my true identity, fall into full alignment with my purpose and passion and ultimately become a better version of myself.  

Surrounded by a few key people showing up for me every day in a non-judgmental way.  Getting to teach and lead executive leaders to understand why vulnerability is a sign of strength and servant leadership leads to amazing opportunities.  Clients showing up open to receive, listening and engaging in whatever topic showed up during 1:1 mindset coaching or group coaching sessions that led to lifechanging breakthroughs for many.  This combination of learnings ultimately led me to finding the calm courage to go all in on helping parents find their voice - bringing to the forefront - clarity, confidence, clarity and a voice that provides the foundation for one's own version of my #journey2bloom.

A kind and gentle reminder - my mission is to lay the groundwork for a path of collaboration, open communication and vulnerability that allows everyone to speak their truth, concerns and valuable insights, creating cohesive partnerships and a roadmap that truly benefits the child.  This could be a toddler, adolescent, teenage, young adult or adult learner.  

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this post and feel free to pass it along to anyone you feel may benefit from reading it or speaking with me.  As I move forward on this journey it is important that I understand what topics are top of mind for those searching for answers.  If you or someone you know has a topic of interest, would like to know more about upcoming group conversations or may be interested in a confidential 1:1 conversation, please reach out to see how I may be able to support you on your own #journey2bloom.  journey2bloom@gmail.com 

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Relationships Matter

I was reminded of just how much relationships matter on Friday when I received a text from a neighbor, friend and mother of a child who has been proactively seeking answers for her son's speech delays. All it said was, "I left you a little something on your front porch".  I read the text and continued on with my day - a day like many others this school year - one that included a few bouts of tears by my 10 year old son whom is completely overwhelmed by virtual learning.  Fast forward 7+ hours into my day - having come up for air - I went outside to see what what was on my front porch. Truth be told, I assumed it was something for my younger son as our kids are friends and it is almost Halloween after all. Much to my surprise it was a gift and a card for me.  The gift was nice and yet it's the words in the card that really touched my heart and reconnected me to what matters most -> relationships.  The card started with the words, "Got approved for Speech Services!"  She went onto write that she couldn't have gotten to this point without my help and advice and families who work with me are very lucky.  

Ironically, I believe I am the lucky one because I get to help parents find their voice and put together the puzzle pieces so every child's life I touch, has a better chance of reaching their true potential.  Doing so, happens to include providing support, tools and guidance to parents and caregivers on the pathway to getting children the services they are entitled to receive based on their specific learning differences, development delay or other health impairment. 

Had it not been for the relationship we built over time, the trust that came with it and the opportunities to engage in meaningful conversation - offering emotional support and guidance along the way- she likely would have given up on her quest to get her son to assessed for SPL services - an assessment she initially requested well over a year ago and one that recently resulted in her son getting approved for services.  

I recognize that relationships come in many different forms - perhaps simply a connection, an association, a link, a correlation, a correspondence, a parallel path, an alliance, an interrelation, or interconnection through a random common connector.  Perhaps you felt listened to, heard, comfortable, able to engage, interacted easily and encouraged to keep going.  Maybe you felt ignored, discouraged and defeated.  This could have been the first of many or the one and only interaction. You may have been getting to know one another for the first time, or catching up for the first time in years.  The topic may have been of a personal or professional nature.  You may or may not have left feeling as though it was an enjoyable conversation or that is was time well spent. My point is, whether you met someone in passing or spend hours with a person, at the end of the day, the lasting impression comes from how you made each other feel. 

My Journey2Bloom provides a platform that allows me to continue connecting and bringing together a community of individuals. Through this platform, I get to support, guide and lead others to clarity, answers and solutions as each begins to find their voice, while forming new relationships and rekindling others with whom I have lost touch over the years.  We all get to learn and grow.  It is important to remember out of site doesn't mean out of mind.  Why? Because most, not all, want to connect with others and help one another. Just because you haven't talked to someone for what feels like forever, doesn't mean they haven't thought of you, would like to hear from you or perhaps even be in a position to help you if you just reached out.  This is not to say, just call someone and say, "hi I need your help!"  It is to say, relationships continue to be relationships and often stand the test of time.  When you allow yourself to let go of the "what if" and replace it with "why not", doors begin to open and bonds are formed that allow you to know you are no alone and remind you just how much relationships matter.

A kind and gentle reminder - my mission is to lay the groundwork for a path of collaboration, open communication and vulnerability that allows everyone to speak and share their truth, concerns and valuable insights, creating cohesive partnerships and a roadmap that truly benefits the child.  This could be a young child, a young adult or an adult learner.  

If this resonates with you or makes you think of someone you know, please reach out to see how I may be able to support you on your very own #journey2bloom. journey2bloom@gmail.com 

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Calm Courage Brings Together A Path Forward

Despite learning differences, I believe every child deserves to live their best life and every parent, caregiver and educator that comes in contact with that child is an integral part of that journey.

Through conversations with parents and educators I found many people don't know how to communicate effectively with one another - teachers, counselors, administration and others in a position of influence are at odds or lost in how to pave a path forward - A path to help them collaboratively figure out why a child is struggling with learning in school and what to do to put the child on a path toward progress. This problem was alive in brick-and-mortar and with the COVID-19 pandemic flipping education on its head, the virtual learning world brings an entirely new set of issues, struggles and concerns.

Parents and children alike are lost, confused, frustrated yet instead of leaning in and speaking up - many choose to suffer in silence - feeling lost, hopeless and confused while others reach out to a teacher for help. When asked what is going on some don't know what to say so nothing changes and others show up to IEP, ASDM and 504 meetings saying little to nothing which results in decisions being made for them and their child.  My mission is to lay the groundwork for a path of collaboration, open communication and vulnerability that allows everyone to speak and share their truth, concerns and valuable insights, creating cohesive partnerships and a roadmap that truly benefits the child. Having calm courage to do so, brings together a path forward.  

Teachers, educators and administrators are also frustrated. Trying their best, trialing ways to teach, engage and guide students forward in the unchartered waters of virtual learning. It is important to remember that they too are parents and caregivers, doing their best to figure it out as they go.

Communication, collaboration, openness to receiving and listening to concerns, questions and recommendations is key to forward progress.

There is no one right answer or way of helping one another, however there is a very clear wrong way! Showing up combative, defensive and feeling entitled to something is the wrong way to go about getting help, building relationships and moving the bar forward for the betterment of your child's education, social and emotional well-being. I am grateful to those who choose to let me into their journey, and allow me to help them help themselves in finding their voice.  

By creating a platform to pull together parents and caregivers from across the country, I get to connect people, share learnings and collaborate on how to use one's voice to help children thrive in school and ultimately in life. Together we can achieve more than we ever could alone. I may not be able to change the lives of all parents and their children, however changing the life for one family will eventually change the lives for many.  Finding my calm confidence created an avenue to find my calm courage and has led to creating this path forward for others wanting to find their voice and take an active role in the transformation of their journey with a child who has learning differences. 

Helping others help themselves by seeking to understand what is important is who I am at the core.  It is imperative that the topics I write and speak about - resonate with at least one other person - otherwise it is not a topic worth writing about.  If you or someone you know would like to read about a specific topic or learn more about my own #journey2bloom, don't hesitate to let me know.  

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

Choices Define Us

If we allow a medical diagnosis or disability to define a child, we have lost before we even get off the starting block. That pretty much sums up the foundation in which I began my journey2bloom.  This statement continues to ring true for my 1^st born son’s learning differences and keeps me grounded in what is important as I navigate our 2nd son's unique learning differences. In both situations, had I let their diagnosis lead me, neither would be where they are today.

Over the years I spent a lot of time writing about my almost 14 year old - sort of makes sense - since I spent 2.5 of his first 4 years of life navigating these unchartered waters, asking questions, sometimes getting answers, sometimes a run around, sometimes the evil eye and eventually finding experts that helped me navigate the path forward.  He wasn't hitting milestone's as a "typically" developing child should and as first-time parents we shared our concerns with our wonderful pediatrician.  She gave us literature that introduced us to what early intervention services was all about and gave us hope.

Aligning with those that knew more than me to figure out what was holding him back from developing, socializing, learning etc. was the best first decision I made on this journey2bloom. If I had listened to what some other experts, family and even strangers had told me I should or shouldn’t do to help us help him, I would be telling a very different story and our paths may never have crossed.  Thankfully my intuition, resilience and perhaps “stubbornness - don’t tell me my child can’t have the best of everything offered to him thinking” helped me stay grounded in good intentions and afforded me the strength and courage to continue navigating one way streets, dead ends and even u-turns that ultimately led to my village of advocates, incredible support team and foundation centered around the well-being of our children always being front and center. 

Defined by the choice to take the road less traveled led me start a blog about early intervention aka our journey2bloom. The decision - almost 10 years ago - to not take the words and guidance of a psychiatrist as "fact" and instead embark on a journey of seeking to understand what triggered my oldest son to exude behavior aligned with her findings, set me on a path that would become my purpose and passion. Fast forward to 2012, we now have 2 boys. By age 3, our oldest was entrenched in social skills classes, ABA Therapy, Speech and any other early intervention services we could find that would help put the pieces together. Our, youngest, the one we would call little sunshine was just starting to show signs of delays. Our happy go lucky, silly 2 year old who was always smiling, appropriately playing, interacting with others - essentially hitting every milestone up to that point - began showing signs of slowing progress. When the delays began to surface, I thought how could this be happening again? How could our kids be dealt hands that would make an already difficult world more difficult? I wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out and yet others kept telling me, "you only get what you can handle" followed by "you are one of the strongest people I know" I wasn't feeling strong, nor secure, nor able to wrap my head around what was about to take hold as the next phase in our journey2bloom.

For sake of this post, I will share some "highlights" and reserve the right to delve deeper into each of the subgroups at some point over the next several months to a year.

Our younger son's first early intervention experience was through infants and toddlers for Speech - during which time the SPL (Speech and Language Pathologist) observed what appeared to be a delay in fine motor skills and recommended he be assessed for OT (occupational therapy). Over the next 8 years, after speech, OT, Physical Therapy, Adaptive PE, and starting off kindergarten with an IEP classified as DD (Developmental Delay) because no one could quite figure out why he had so many delays nor where his learning differences were coming from the pieces of the puzzle finally began coming into focus. There were more questions than answers and varying diagnosis along the way. 

While we were surrounded by those who had become partners in conversation and advocates throughout the years of working together for our older son, there were also some educators who "took short cuts". Subsequently our younger son suffered because he wasn't provided full access to the curriculum needed for him to learn at the best of his ability during the pre-school, pre-k and early years of elementary school. We continue to fill in the early learning gaps impacted by those choices. 

This is where the choices we make define us statement comes back into play. Being an empath, something felt off to me for quite some time, but I couldn't put my finger on it nor when I asked questions, was I getting any straight answers about what I was questioning. During the early years with our youngest son, instead of answers I was told, "he is doing fine, doing well". Finally, small things began to surface that gave me a glimpse into what I had been feeling. Small things - such as - being sent home a paper with a smiley face when our son was telling us he was crying in school that day.   After choosing to gain more intimate knowledge of how advocacy and the school system intertwined, learning more about special education law when it came to the rights I had as a parent to continue requesting specific data until it was shared, I finally started getting somewhere with my younger son.  Asking for documented examples of progress this specific special educator stated our son was making on the IEP goals led to uncovering gaps in learning, missing documentation and inaccurate goal setting.  The journey gets more complicated as time goes on. ADHD, Anxiety and Absence Seizures, coupled with a fairly unique neuro-psych profile all play a role in his learning differences. I will pause here for today....more to come.

In part due to the above experiences I am now certain that when parents truly know their rights, and how to use their voice, kids thrive.  My hope is to serve the parents and caregivers by offering a forum to collaborate and learn how to use their voice to help their kids. Through conversations with parents, and even educators, I have found there are many people who don't know what they don't know about how to be an active part of the IEP or 504 team and so, instead, they sit in meetings and let the decisions be made for them and their child. I am on a focused mission is to change that so everyone moves forward together for the sake of the child.  If you or someone you know would like to come along on this journey, please reach out!  Journey2bloom@gmail.com

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

 

 

Vulnerability Opens Doors

Vulnerability opens doors to receiving, provides a pathway to transformation, a starting point to find your voice and ultimately leads to internal trust, belief and a better way of life.  This is the foundation upon which our journey2bloom has been built.

After going live with my last blog post, a side conversation took place between myself and the very first person who truly saw the best in our son, welcomed us in with open arms and became the first member of my tribe which has become a village of advocates.  As I reflected on the conversation, I felt obligated to turn it into my next blog post for those who weren’t privy to the discussion.  Here are the highlights…

This person, Andrea, took my hand, opened her heart and showed me what it meant to be an advocate, to lean in and lift someone up when they can't do it for themselves, to hold the vision of what was possible even when some bystanders choose to judge you for seeking help and others choose to turn a blind eye or walk away and give up.

She took our son into her 3's classroom even after he "shattered a playhouse into hundreds of pieces" and then brought him back into her 3's classroom as a peer when his 4's classroom teachers "thought he was a behavior" problem. Not only did he shine in her class, he became a role model for the younger children.  I am forever grateful for the unconditional love this person showed me and my son(s). She helped me create my tribe of “SME’s” that became my village of advocates, helping me find my voice and teaching me how to be the advocate I am today.  I hope to be half as impactful on others journey as this person has been on mine. 

During our side conversation, she stated that “every child is special and unique in their own way and should never be cast aside for any reason.  My son captured her heart that first moment, from flying castles to Lightening McQueen.” She took the challenges set before her and allowed us in - we allowed one another in – working in tandem to help him thrive and grow.  She will always have a special place in our hearts and she will forever be a part of our journey2bloom.  

When you or someone you know is ready to allow me entry into the journey, I will be here with an unconditionally open mind, open heart and ready to help guide you forward.

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

Learn to Appreciate and Trust Yourself

Lean into your perfect imperfections and allow it to lead you to places you never dreamt possible!  When you begin to appreciate and trust your true self, you begin to love that true self and from there the doors open because you are ready to receive what the universe has in store for you!  

10 years after I began my journey2bloom and two years after creating my LLC, I finally launched my website journey2bloom. As I took time to reflect on this journey, celebrate the gratitude I have for every single person in my village - the tribe that helped me along the way - thought about why it took me so long to make it "official". The honest truth - I was afraid I wouldn't live up to the person everyone in this village thinks of me to be through their eyes. I was yet to see myself half the way that others saw me.

In short - I wasn't ready to trust myself enough to share my experiences with the world and allow my journey to truly become another person’s survival guide. Going live with the website, solidified that I had finally learned to appreciate and trust myself enough to allow others to trust me with their most intimate of fears, insecurities, and circumstances as it relates to something so personal, their children!

Looking back, I recognize that by not sharing the ups and downs and lessons learned on this road less traveled I was denying others the opportunity to know they are NOT ALONE. I came to my senses by realizing my vulnerabilities could give others the strength and resilience to continue advocating for their child. I mean helping one person may not change the world, yet it could very well change the world for one person. So, from here forward I vow to worry less and take inspired action more because I would rather go forward helping one person than stand still and help no one. I suppose you could say that learning to appreciate and trust myself is leading to inspired action.

I spent the better part of my life helping others help themselves and forgetting to help myself in the process. I doubled down on this after becoming a mom and made it my mission to ensure my kids were provided with all of the opportunity afforded to them as innocent children in a world filled with unconscious bias, judgement and unnecessary pressure to "be normal" and fit in. I know all too well what it's like to be told your child won't ever go to a normal school or that your child is a kid with so many issues that the teacher doesn't want them in their classroom because they don't know how to work with him. I know what it feels like to be lost and like you are the only one in the world dealing with these issues and there are no answers to be given because there is nothing that can "fix" or help the situation you are living. I know what it feels like to have others conclude something about your child's behavior without any facts or data to back up the accusations. I know how it feels to not get answers and feel lost in verbiage and acronyms that make no sense, feeling like there is no way to help your child and yet no way out of maze you are trying to navigate.

I also know how it feels to have someone step up to the plate and go to bat for your child, telling you how special they are and that they see how hard you are working to give them the best life possible. I know how it feels to actually witness the difference in your child's behavior and progress based on who is working with him and the attitude in which they choose to take toward your child no matter how he behaves. I have seen first-hand the different actions and reactions that drove to meltdowns or led to breakthroughs. Ultimately, I have lived a nightmare and didn't let it break me - instead I used it to fuel my desire to inspire resilience and in turn it propelled me into this journey2bloom.

Ultimately, I know how it feels to be supported by SME's who are unconditionally invested in helping you help your child no matter the cost. When I recognized it was time to advocate for my second son, the first people I called were those who had been there for me the first time around - my village - my tribe. They once again lifted me up and inspired resilience in me when I thought I had no fuel left in the tank.  Through their unwavering support I found energy, I found hope and I found my voice to forge on in the quest - this time to give my second son the same opportunity as my first. There is so much to cover, and yet today, I will share the things I wish I knew sooner:

• It doesn't make me weak to ask for help
• I don't have to change myself for other people
• It is utterly impossible to please everyone
• It is ok to cut off friends that haven't earned a spot in my life
• I am harder on myself than I need to be
• My worth isn't found in the opinion of others

I wish I had known all of the above so many years ago and yet I didn't. What I do know is that it is never too late to recognize that all of these statements are true. Allowing myself to let go of the guilt I felt for the years wasted not knowing these to be true and shifting my focus to celebrate what I know as fact now were key influencers in my decision to finally launch my website. This is significant for many reasons, most importantly because starting today I get to do what I love and help others in return. Every decision we make begins with a choice. I choose to focus on what I can control allowing me to step into a role that fully aligns with my purpose and passion - creating an environment for parents to find their voice and opportunities for the type relationships I had the privilege of creating to bloom.

For those that read this, thank you! For those who know someone who may benefit from reading this, please share! Paying it forward is so important because going through this journey is More Than Any One Person Can Handle Alone!

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

Gratitude, Forgiveness and Vulnerability

My heart is full of gratitude for everyone in the front lines – from the Dr’s and nurses to teachers, firefighters and grocery store clerks – every single person who is considered an essential employee! From the perspective of physical and mental well-being I worry for every human.

My mind wonders from topic to topic as I type this post and yet, it keeps coming back to the long-term impact on our kiddos. I love to give hugs and so the inability to give and receive a hug is certainly weighing on me, yet as an adult, I can come to terms with the fact that this is a necessary step toward getting through this pandemic and back to some sort of normalcy, each part of the world having varying definitions of normalcy. Kids, at all ages, are struggling to put the pieces together and wrap their heads around what is happening. 

When I started to ponder the levels of impact to our kiddos, I thought perhaps the physical aspect may very well be the most impacted. As I typed those words though, my brain said hold on a minute! The emotional toll may far outweigh the physical one.  Even though all human beings are impacted by this shutdown, including my family, the long-term effects on our younger generation won’t truly come to light for years to come. 

We, as a people, are missing friends and co-workers, and I know it is taking a toll on our mental health. We are living it with our own kiddos. Our youngest has high anxiety and learning difficulties. This switch to distance learning and “social distancing” has really thrown him for a loop as he struggles with not being in the classroom, the inconsistency of “distance learning”, no sports nor other extra-curricular activities provided during after school and on the weekends. Our older son is adjusting better than I expected, but misses his friends, teammates, teachers and coaches too.

The lack of physical exercise and social interaction is enough to put anyone on edge. As adults, we are doing our best to deal with and juggle all of this change, while showing up for our kiddos every day while adding to our roles – educator and coach. We didn’t see this coming, asked for it nor could we have proactively prepared to handle the reality of it all.

How we get through this, as an individual, family, society revolves around the choices we make now and far into the future.  We can choose to rise to the challenge – Inspiring Resilience in our kiddos – lean in on those around us who know more than we do for guidance and support – allowing ourselves to be vulnerable – asking for help - or let fear and scarcity overwhelm us – crumbling in the midst of chaos. Kudos to those that noticed I didn’t bold that last part about crumbling. Why would I intentionally not bold this statement? Great question! It is in italics instead of bold letters because before this pandemic, many people were already living through a lens of fear and scarcity.

Like it or not – while no one was prepared to handle what has come to be our daily reality, some people were seeing the world through a mindful lens – where everything is an opportunity and the understanding that many times less is more. While those living in abundance may have been more mentally prepared to handle what is happening now, even their world has been turned upside down. Every one of is feeling some impact from this pandemic.  We can either bond together, lifting one another up, or decide each to their own and let the cards fall where they may.  I choose the former.  What do you choose and why?

first posted in May 2020

During the coming weeks and months, how we show up, internally and externally will undoubtedly impact how our kids move through adversity, see the world and themselves in trying times. As a parent, wife, friend, advocate, mindset coach/homeschooling teacher (not be choice) I know first hand the importance of the words I write above, yet truth be told, there are days that it is just so damn hard to show up as my best self!  Yes, I too have my days. I must take extra time each morning to set my intentions for the day, to visualize how I will show up each day. Why? Because I consciously need to make time for myself to ensure I am actually executing the way that uses my energy wisely and leads others through each day. Every action and reaction I have impacts my kids, now more than ever.

No doubt some of you reading this may be thinking, yeah easier said than done!  I never said it was easy! Good habits are hard to build and bad one’s are hard to break. The cycle of negative thinking must be broken for the behavior to change toward positive empowering thoughts, and yet when it does start to shift, man does it feel great! 

Forgiveness is key yet something really hard to do!  Before we can forgive ourselves for what we can’t control, we have to recognize and acknowledge that we are putting undue pressure on ourselves.  I challenge all of you to give yourself space each day to reflect on how you are feeling and how it may be impacting those around you.  As you start to recognize these behaviors, allow yourself some wiggle room when things don’t go as planned.  Perhaps your kiddo didn’t get to one of his/her many homework assignments, maybe you didn’t get to the laundry that has been piling up.  Whatever it is, ask yourself – does this have a significant impact on our lives?  If not, then begin to build habits that allow you to let go of the things that don’t matter so much, allowing the space and energy to focus on what matters most over time –> self-care, self-image and self-worth! 

Our kids need us now more than ever, so surround yourself with others that lift you up, listen when you need an ear and speak the truth, with all the love in their heart!  Allow space for forgiveness and vulnerability in your life and ask for help when you need it!

Thank you following this #journey2bloom