Sunday, July 12, 2020

Gratitude, Forgiveness and Vulnerability

My heart is full of gratitude for everyone in the front lines – from the Dr’s and nurses to teachers, firefighters and grocery store clerks – every single person who is considered an essential employee! From the perspective of physical and mental well-being I worry for every human.

My mind wonders from topic to topic as I type this post and yet, it keeps coming back to the long-term impact on our kiddos. I love to give hugs and so the inability to give and receive a hug is certainly weighing on me, yet as an adult, I can come to terms with the fact that this is a necessary step toward getting through this pandemic and back to some sort of normalcy, each part of the world having varying definitions of normalcy. Kids, at all ages, are struggling to put the pieces together and wrap their heads around what is happening. 

When I started to ponder the levels of impact to our kiddos, I thought perhaps the physical aspect may very well be the most impacted. As I typed those words though, my brain said hold on a minute! The emotional toll may far outweigh the physical one.  Even though all human beings are impacted by this shutdown, including my family, the long-term effects on our younger generation won’t truly come to light for years to come. 

We, as a people, are missing friends and co-workers, and I know it is taking a toll on our mental health. We are living it with our own kiddos. Our youngest has high anxiety and learning difficulties. This switch to distance learning and “social distancing” has really thrown him for a loop as he struggles with not being in the classroom, the inconsistency of “distance learning”, no sports nor other extra-curricular activities provided during after school and on the weekends. Our older son is adjusting better than I expected, but misses his friends, teammates, teachers and coaches too.

The lack of physical exercise and social interaction is enough to put anyone on edge. As adults, we are doing our best to deal with and juggle all of this change, while showing up for our kiddos every day while adding to our roles – educator and coach. We didn’t see this coming, asked for it nor could we have proactively prepared to handle the reality of it all.

How we get through this, as an individual, family, society revolves around the choices we make now and far into the future.  We can choose to rise to the challenge – Inspiring Resilience in our kiddos – lean in on those around us who know more than we do for guidance and support – allowing ourselves to be vulnerable – asking for help - or let fear and scarcity overwhelm us – crumbling in the midst of chaos. Kudos to those that noticed I didn’t bold that last part about crumbling. Why would I intentionally not bold this statement? Great question! It is in italics instead of bold letters because before this pandemic, many people were already living through a lens of fear and scarcity.

Like it or not – while no one was prepared to handle what has come to be our daily reality, some people were seeing the world through a mindful lens – where everything is an opportunity and the understanding that many times less is more. While those living in abundance may have been more mentally prepared to handle what is happening now, even their world has been turned upside down. Every one of is feeling some impact from this pandemic.  We can either bond together, lifting one another up, or decide each to their own and let the cards fall where they may.  I choose the former.  What do you choose and why?

first posted in May 2020

During the coming weeks and months, how we show up, internally and externally will undoubtedly impact how our kids move through adversity, see the world and themselves in trying times. As a parent, wife, friend, advocate, mindset coach/homeschooling teacher (not be choice) I know first hand the importance of the words I write above, yet truth be told, there are days that it is just so damn hard to show up as my best self!  Yes, I too have my days. I must take extra time each morning to set my intentions for the day, to visualize how I will show up each day. Why? Because I consciously need to make time for myself to ensure I am actually executing the way that uses my energy wisely and leads others through each day. Every action and reaction I have impacts my kids, now more than ever.

No doubt some of you reading this may be thinking, yeah easier said than done!  I never said it was easy! Good habits are hard to build and bad one’s are hard to break. The cycle of negative thinking must be broken for the behavior to change toward positive empowering thoughts, and yet when it does start to shift, man does it feel great! 

Forgiveness is key yet something really hard to do!  Before we can forgive ourselves for what we can’t control, we have to recognize and acknowledge that we are putting undue pressure on ourselves.  I challenge all of you to give yourself space each day to reflect on how you are feeling and how it may be impacting those around you.  As you start to recognize these behaviors, allow yourself some wiggle room when things don’t go as planned.  Perhaps your kiddo didn’t get to one of his/her many homework assignments, maybe you didn’t get to the laundry that has been piling up.  Whatever it is, ask yourself – does this have a significant impact on our lives?  If not, then begin to build habits that allow you to let go of the things that don’t matter so much, allowing the space and energy to focus on what matters most over time –> self-care, self-image and self-worth! 

Our kids need us now more than ever, so surround yourself with others that lift you up, listen when you need an ear and speak the truth, with all the love in their heart!  Allow space for forgiveness and vulnerability in your life and ask for help when you need it!

Thank you following this #journey2bloom

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