You just never know when...........

You just never know when something you share will impact another person. It is quite interesting how life works and how when you least expect it, you can make an impact on someone's life or on many lives with just a few words. This post stems from a conversation I had this afternoon. I decided to share my blog site with an acquaintance of mine. I don't say friend, only because we never really knew each other as kids, just knew of one another yet as adults we have met and been able to connect and influence one another's lives. After reading last night's post Turn that frown upside down...and away we go she sent me a note saying that a family member of hers had their 3 year old in early intervention services because "he's almost 3 and isn't really talking yet, which frustrates him that he can’t' communicate so now he acts out a lot, hitting and tantrums, the works". She went onto say that she would likely share my blog with the loved one's in hopes of helping them realize that without a more focused effort to help her kid, counseling can only do so much. She wants to help this family member and thinks that maybe, just maybe reading my story will show them that the effort they put into their child now will make a difference later on in his life. Smiling inside and out as I read her note and feeling a bit of self accomplishment, because this is why I blog about our journey. It is partially to help me through the process, but more so to help others see that they are not alone, that it happens to many of us and for those that aren't afraid to jump in head first and "sink or swim" with their kids, the benefits well outweigh the low points. I went on to tell her that it is amazing what a difference it makes when all parties are on the same page. I let her know that if the child's parents, teachers, specialist and family members are not on the same page, the child will not reap the true rewards of early intervention. I also stated that if the parent's are not willing to put in the time and effort on the back end it is NOT going to be worth any of the money they put in on the front end to have their child meet with the counselor and/or other specialists. In no way am I the expert on what to do or not do, yet I can comfortably and confidently make the above statements because I know firsthand what it is like to deny and then embrace this journey. I also have friends who just sent their kids for OT, Speech, ABA etc but did nothing at home to keep things consistent for their child. When they couldn’t figure out why nothing was moving along in the form of bettering some of the behaviors, in the kindest way possible, I told them to look in the mirror. It may sound harsh, but the reality of it is this: If you have a child with any sort of special needs/delay, their situation will only improve if you are willing to put in as much time and effort as they are to make it happen. It is not a one sided heads up coin; it is a two sided coin with lots up heads and even more tails. The conversation continued via messenger. Moving on to asking how differently the child acted at home vs. in school and if this child had ever been evaluated for ABA services. They didn't think the child had any ABA services thus far. She knew that he went to preschool and that his behavior seemed to be ok while at school. While things seemed to be going ok at school, it was falling apart on the home front. My response to that follows: In my experience and from working with numerous experts; It is not uncommon for more of the behaviors to come out at home vs. in school. Many times kids are "on" while at school and once in the comfort of their home, many of the behaviors come out in full force - sometimes it is due to behavior, speech or social delays and other times just a kid looking for some sort of attention. I let her know that I don’t know her loved one's situation well enough to even venture a guess as to what the triggers are for his behavior, but consistency both inside and outside of the house does affect a child's behavior. Many other factors influence behavior, but inconsistent messages from parents and caregivers can definitely cause issues. As for ABA - I recommended they get him assessed by their local regional/early start center - it is a free assessment and if he needs services they can figure out who and what is best. I also said that their pediatrician should be able to lead them in the right direction. Tonight's blog was written because I imagine that there are many other parents out there with no answers, nowhere to turn and completely frustrated by their child and their situation. I only hope that other's read this post, and if they find themselves feeling this way, find it within themselves to ask for help. It may be the hardest thing they ever do, but I am quite confident that they won't regret it.