Baby Steps To Success

Through the eyes of my children I have learned that the best way to get through a day, a week, a month or sometimes even a minute is by taking "baby steps". Yesterday was one of the best and toughest days I have ever gone through. As I quickly approach 40, I realize just how much I have learned from my mistakes, from the mistakes of those around me and from the courage and curiosity of my two amazing little boys. I have also learned so much from the courage of my husband. So many people say to me, " you and your husband have been through more in 5 years than most couples go through in a lifetime" That may be true, but each thing that life throws our way makes us a stronger and better as a couple, parents and friends. The inspiration behind tonight's post is my amazing 5.5 year old. 3 years ago, when we began our journey to find out what was causing all of our sons behaviors, sensory delays, transitional delays, social/emotional delays and speech delays; I never thought yesterday would have been possible. Yesterday was Kindergarten testing for my big guy and he hit a home run, scoring 100% on reading and comprehension, 97% on site words and 94% on letter recognition and proper sounds of each letter. If you don't know me or my family, I can hear the comments now, "Geeze, these parents are perfectionists, this poor child is being pushed too hard, why is it that important to blog about this when he is only in kindergarten". If this were any typical child I would agree with those skeptics, but this is no typical child and this is no typical situation. Our son loves to learn. He is so intrigued by what words mean, how to pronounce words and just above life in general. Our son didn't speak until he was almost 3. At age 2.5, the teachers couldn't figure out why he was having meltdowns whenever asked to transition from one task to another. At age 4 his pre-school teacher required us to obtain an aid (with our own money) in order for him to stay in her classroom; stating that he had too many issues to handle and that I needed to get him more help than she could offer. Although I didn't agree with her decision; looking back; I am so grateful that she was unable to stand up to the challenge of my child, because the behavioral aid that was referred to us did wonders for our son. He gave him all of the tools necessary to grow socially and emotionally; taught him ways to process faster, to filter out the unnecessary things around him so that he could focus without going into sensory overload and laid the foundation for all of the coping skills he now uses to be able to self regulate in stressful, anxious or unfamiliar situations. Without this foundation, yesterday would have been impossible. At age 4.5 he was given an IEP and an ABA rep and the progress continued. The foundation that had now settled in his little mind, gave way to a whole new world, a whole new attitude and a brand new start for our guy. The teachers at his last preschool and at ABA services NEVER once looked at him as though he was different; instead they took the challenges and turned them into to opportunities to teach him additional coping skills. They set him up for "small failures in a safe environment" Allowing him to figure out how to work himself through tough situations, transition with the rest of the class without melting down for an hour because he was still thinking about and processing what had happened hours earlier and just figure out who he was and become comfortable in his own skin. Not only did they accomplish all of this; they exceeded every single expectation that my husband and I every imagined, prayed and wished for our big guy. The kid that walked into the elementary school yesterday could never have come to exist without the army of people who surrounded us over the last 3 years. When his new Kindergarten teacher asked him if he was nervous about starting Kindergarten in a few weeks, he said he was not nervous, just excited. The teacher came out of the testing room, sat down with me to go over the reports and brought tears to my eyes as she told me how he not only answered her questions regarding the stories he had read to and with her; he was able to summarize what was said in minutes. This brought tears to my eyes because less than 1.5 years ago, that would have taken hours if not days to take place. His processing abilities were so delayed that they would trigger frustrations and meltdowns. Yesterday all the delay did was trigger him to look off for a few moments at a time, in deep thought, as he processed and recapped what he had heard/read just minutes before in the story. Tears of joy and a sense of accomplishment were alive in me at that moment. The teacher went on to ask me what his IEP diagnosis was and responded with, wow, I would never have known. She said she did see some of the processing delay, fixation on topics and a little bit of rigidity, but the way he had learned to cope with it was magnificent. Finally, she smiled and said, whatever you did and whoever helped you did a fantastic job preparing him for Elementary school. Don't worry, he is so ready for school. I hope this post inspires others to let down their pride and do what is best for their child's well being. I also hope that it shows the struggles and successes that it takes to get to where we are today. It is not an easy road, definitely a road less traveled, but a road worth traveling, none the less.