Change - will you embrace it or fight it?

I realized it has been 3 months since my last post. I didn't think it had been that long since the last time I sat down to type out my thoughts. So much has happened in the last few months. The one thing that continues to go well is my oldest's ability to go with the flow, embrace change and deal with what life continues to throw his way. 2 years ago my oldest needed at least an hour of "priming" before going anywhere and if he didn't get the days "preview or change of events as they were going to unfold" his tantrums would be so bad that we couldn't leave the house. Today we have a child who may "meltdown" for 15-20 minutes max when things don't go his way or he doesn't know what is happening next. While his "tantrums" may still be much more intense than a typical 5.5 year old, they are quite manageable and that is the best we could have hoped for when it comes to a child with ASD. I couldn't be more proud of my boys. My youngest learns and grows everyday by watching his big brother. Instead of worrying about what mood my oldest will be in and how many red choices he will make in one day (those are bad choices)I sit back and watch him help his brother; watch what we do with him and try to use some of the words we use to teach the little one right from wrong. He's making up for lost time when it comes to being a kid. What do I mean? Well we spent years 2-5 in early intervention services; much of it paid for out of pocket. Surrounding ourselves with an army of experts, we were able to give our oldest the tools to process faster, deal with change, understand how to be flexible and learn how to properly interact in a social setting. Not only was he able to learn all of this and be able to put it into practice; his little brother was able to benefit from the early intervention (ABA) services provided to our oldest. Since Sharing and Flexibility are big parts of helping a child with ASD it was great to have his little brother there to help him figure out how to work through some of these programs. Without all of this help, I am certain we would not be where we are today. Over the last 6 weeks, we have moved our kids cross country, had our nanny of 3 years go back to CA with less than a weeks notice and had a new sitter start with us. Luckily, will all of this change, we had Babushka and Uncle George here to cushion things quite a bit. In the last 3 weeks, on at least 2 occasions, my oldest has thanked me for bringing him back to MD. He said mom, "I am really happy with you" When I asked him why, he said because you brought me back to MD. I really like it here. He had a grin from ear to ear on each occasion. Any question I had about moving this amazing kid cross country again in less than 4 years was wiped away by that comment. I titled this blog post, Change - will you embrace it or fight it, because I truly believe change is a choice. Everyone has the ability to change, the choice is yours, the decision you make today will affect your life and the lives around you tomorrow. I know this to be true on so many levels. I choose unconditional love for my boys when it is not the way I was brought up; I choose to continue asking for guidance and support when I don't know how to help my boys; instead of being too proud, I let down my pride and know that my kids will truly benefit in the end from my vulnerability. I am confident that teaching kids right from wrong, supporting their decisions/thoughts/feelings (even if you may not agree with them) setting boundaries, offering unconditional love and to how fight for what they believe is right; will help mold my boys into well rounded, successful and happy adults. Any time I want to give up; feel like the things I have changed in my life to better my chances of my happiness and that of my boys were not worth it; I look at their faces, smile and know that CHANGE is good, CHANGE is inevitable and CHANGE = GROWTH