The Zax Bypass - lessons learned

"by Dr. SeussFrom The Sneetches and Other StoriesCopyright 1961 by Theodor S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel, renewed 1989



One day, making tracksIn the prairie of Prax,Came a North-Going ZaxAnd a South-Going Zax.
And it happened that both of them came to a placeWhere they bumped. There they stood.Foot to foot. Face to face.



“Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say!You are blocking my path. You are right in my way.I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north.Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!”



“Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax.“I always go south, making south-going tracks.So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to moveAnd let me go south in my south-going groove.”



Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my waysIf I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”



“And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax,“That I can stand here in the prairie of PraxFor fifty-nine years! For I live by a ruleThat I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I willIf it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”



Well…Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.In a couple of years, the new highway came throughAnd they built it right over those two stubborn ZaxAnd left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks."


I am quoting this Dr. Seuss story b/c to me it is a great representation of one of the path's I could have taken on my journey to help my son. For about 6 months I tried to get into our local Regional center for an assessment without success. I called and called, first being told someone would call me back, then that they couldn't find the paperwork my out of state center had sent to them for review and admission, then finally being told about a waiting list. By this time 6 months has passed, a lot of frustration had built and I did just what the Zax do above, NOTHING. I hung up the phone feeling defeated and not knowing that they had an obligation to me and my son to actually assess him and provide services to him in order to give him the early intervention that he needed in areas that he was significantly delayed.


At this time my son, only 2 years old, had a speech delay, some social delay and a few other minor things that were definitely in progress of growth. Not knowing my rights when I moved to my new state, these services and my push for assistance stopped there..but only for a short time.

Thankfully, after another 6 months, this time of doing nothing but feeling frustrated and wondering what I can do next, I chose to not just stand in my tracks anymore waiting and hoping for the other person to make the first move. I decided to once again take a stand for my son's well being. I was referred to a development psychologist that came and assessed our son at home.....this led to working briefly with an OT which then led me to have the psychologist observe him in his school environment. This evaluation led us to change preschool's for my son due to the lack of flexibility the director of the preschool had when it came to early intervention. The new preschool was a great change for him......


In this new school he started to learn many of the social skills he was lacking, his language grew and in no time he was talking in full sentences, making some great friends and was an all around much happier child. My story doesn't end here and I am not sure that it will ever end. There may always be a need for some sort of extra support for my child. So a year goes by and he starts a new classroom, this time things start out great and then I am told he begins to spiral backwards in some of these ever evolving areas. After 6 months of asking the teachers if everything was ok, and being told yes yes, he is doing what is age appropriate, etc I found out that there were some sensory, self regulation, transition and social interaction issues that the teachers just couldn't support on their own. The teachers said they needed help as they just weren't sure how to give our son the attention and support he needed to continue to grow and thrive in their classroom. Today I thank them for letting go of their pride and reaching out to me with these concerns. This is another moment of truth that would change my son's life forever.


At this time, in my mind, I had no choice but to go out and get additional help for my son. Did it cost me a small fortune, well of course it did, BUT it also changed the course of his life. With the development psychologist by my side, along with the teachers, pre-school administrators, my husband and a few close friends who were going through similar issues, I found the strength and courage to continue to ask for help and guidance in the areas that I lacked knowledge and expertise.

By the time the end of Decemeber 2010 rolled around I had my son's own little "dream team" in place. We had the psychologist, the OT, a shadow/aid, teachers, friends etc. I found a group of friends that could support me 100% and stand behind me to push me forward when I wanted to quit this journey.

In early 2011 I found out from this team of experts that my son should never have been turned away from the regional center, that no child under 3 was to be turned away for an assessment. I also found out that we had the right to get an IEP and that potentially many of the services I was providing for my son out of pocket could/would be paid for by the school district and/or the states regional center. This begins the next phase of my journey to finding out what was truly going on with my son and getting him every single service possible to assist him in becoming his best self....stay tuned for more

For those of you reading this blog for the first time, it is simply a story of my journey and in no way stating that anyone should do things the way I am doing them or take my information as "the law" it is simply a way to share with others what my family and I went through to get to where we are today, those that helped us through each step and about the journey that lies ahead of us.

A very important lesson I learned along my journey thus far is if you want what is best for your child, and your sanity for that matter :)..........don't be a "Zax" and just stand still thinking that someone else will make this happen for you. You control your own destiny and that of your child's when he/she is too young to have a voice. Be strong, take action and don't take no for an answer! If you don't stand up for your child, who will?

Feel free to comment, ask questions or just follow along on our journey