Over the last 2 years I have often wondered how many people out there are going through a similar situation as we are in our family. Not knowing what is causing reactions that our child has to certain situations, wondering why the oddest thing can cause a negative reaction and why other days we could go through an entire day with nothing but happiness and compliance. A question I often asked myself was.....Is this just a typical child of this age or is something more going on? Knowing that I had grown up with a sibling who had some of these tendencies I eventually came to the conclusion that they were not the norm and knew I had to do something about it.
After 2.5 years of early intervention, a lot of guidance and support from experts, pushing away those that were or still are non-believers, I have come to the conclusion that there is a very fine line between SPD, ASD and true behavioral issues. I also now understand that what used to be categorized as behavioral, learning,social or communication challenges now seem to typically fall within Sensory Processing Disorder or the Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
Here is a statistic that I pulled off of the cdc.gov website. The CDC now reports that, "ASDs are a group of developmental disabilities that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges. CDC estimates that an average of 1 in 110 children in the U.S have an ASD." What constitutes a "significant" delay is completely subjective. Sometimes this subjectivity can be the difference b/w a child getting awarded services for early intervention.
Over the last two years I have come to understand that when a child has a Sensory Processing Disorder and/or an Autistic Spectrum Disorder it is pretty safe to assume that some outside trigger or series of triggers caused the actual behavioral reaction - putting to good use the quote, "For every action there is a reaction" The key to success with those that are borderline with either of these disorders is to find experts that can help you figure out what is going on with your child and setting goals to help them deal with the areas that don't come easy.
Many times figuring it out is a really difficult and stressful process. I am here to tell you that figuring it out and setting a plan of action to help your child deal with things that don't come easy to him/her is priceless. The reward well outweighs the long road to figuring out what is causing the symptoms. It is sort of like getting sick...... going to the Dr. a million times..getting tons of tests done that all come back negative.....and deciding that you will not give up until you figure out what is going on. It is that drive to find the answers that will lead you to success. It is the million and one visit that could give you the diagnosis you need in order to get better.
The key to staying sane through all of this is knowing when someone is objectively assessing your child vs subjectively assessing them. Trust me on this one as I know first hand what sort of assessment results can come from someone who makes up their mind about a child's behavior before they even begin assessing them. My advice on this topic is to take all of it with a grain of salt.
Keep an open mind, know what to listen to and what to brush off while being realistic about your situation. For example, if 10 professionals tell you one thing about your child's situation yet the 11th person says something completely opposite, it is pretty safe to assume that this 11th person is giving you inaccurate information. There is the rare situation that this 11th person may see something that no one else did. One could hold out hope that this one person has some sort of insight into their child that all of the other professionals didn't but to say that statement is the norm is a long shot.
I truly believe that a parent must do what he/she feels is best for their child and not what others feel is best for their child. If I listened to the opinions of many around me I would still be dealing with a very unhappy, misunderstood and lost child. Instead I went with my gut feeling and am now dealing with a very bright, happy and well understood child, set up with the tools to succeed socially, emotionally and educationally in a very tough world.
I hope my words inspire resilience in your quest to find your inner voice and courage to take inspired action in life. 12+ years ago, through the support of confidants, experts and sometimes strangers, I began to trust my voice. This blog takes you through stages of my lessons, growth & frustration, from a mom often in unchartered waters. Through these experiences, I help others unscramble the words necessary to speak up & bloom.
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