Regardless of whether or not we want time to stand still, it doesn’t. Time controls us, we don’t control it. Life controls us, we don’t control it. Actions control us, we don’t control actions. The weather controls us, we don’t control the weather. Our mood controls us, we don’t control our mood.
Is the glass half full or half empty? Does the rainbow appear after the rain, or does the rain have nothing to do with a rainbow after all? Where there is a will, is there really a way. Is it really mind over matter? Do we really control our own destiny or are we born pre-destined to do certain things? Does the human mind really have the ability to alter the outcome of one’s life?
I know this seems to be a blog of random thoughts and those of you reading may have no idea where I am going with this one. Let me explain. All of the random thoughts above are one’s that often go through my mind. I find myself quite often wondering if we really have control over our lives, who we encounter during our time on earth, how we deal with situations thrown our way and if what we do on earth has any bearing on the things that happen to us during our life time.
After everything I have been through in my life, both good and bad, I have come to the conclusion that there is one word that answers all of the things I randomly wrote about above. The answer is YES. One way or another, in some situation the answer to all of the above is yes. I will never understand why so many obstacles have been thrown my way. To this very question - the answer I get from many is, “because you can handle it”
Although this may be true - I think even those who have the strongest will to help others and the ability to find a way to deal with whatever life throws at them, every person deserves a break at some point. Everyone deserves time to just be able to sit back, smell the roses and enjoy their life. I know I say that I deserve this too – that I want to have that peace and tranquility - but then I think again and say to myself,” now what would someone like me (A type personality, always needing to help solve problems) do with peace and tranquility.” The answer is I don’t know. Even when I am on “vacation” my mind is all over the place thinking of what I need to do next, how I can help my oldest son have a great life and what am I going to need to do in order to help my younger son have a great life as well.
Last week I sat and talked to a behavior interventionist about where we were with my oldest son at age 2 and where we are now at age 4.75. She sat there smiling and shaking her head as I lit up discussing all of the obstacles he has overcome and how, in just the last 2 months, he has really begun to “grown into himself”. I shared how great he is as a big brother, sharing, comforting and just playing with his little brother. Talking about how he finds such a sense of pride in being a big brother and how it has brought so much confidence out in him.
We talked about the areas he still needs some help “training his brain” and what he will be able to accomplish once this takes place. My little 4.75 year old has to deal with more on a daily basis than I ever wish on anyone. Every day he has to think harder, try harder and do more just to be a “typical” child. Every time I speak with a professional about how he used to act and who he has become, a sense of pride takes over for a brief moment and then quickly fades away. Although it fades into a memory, it brings me more strength and helps me stay focused on knowing that it is one day at a time and reminds me that I should take the time to celebrate the small accomplishments.
It takes a village to build a strong foundation that can carry one through their lifetime. If you start out with cracks in that foundation, sometimes you can patch up the walls but other times no matter how hard you try to patch the cracks, the holes open back up and the building collapses. Yet if you take the time to tear down the cracked foundation and rebuild it one brick or one stone at a time, what you may find is a strong, sturdy building that can last a lifetime. I think of what we have done for our son and what we continue to do as laying a solid foundation that will outlast any obstacle thrown our way. Life often throws you a curveball and it is what you decide to do with that curveball that makes the difference. Every day you have a choice to live your life one way or another. You can choose to ask for help or stay quiet. You can choose to blame others or look in the mirror and take ownership. You can choose to sulk, thinking of the cards you were dealt or do something to make your life and the lives around you better. I make the choice every day to do just that – I know that if I don’t choose to wake up, put a smile on my face and make the best of each day that not only am I letting myself down but I am also letting my kids and husband down. Putting myself first is not something that comes easy to me, yet I know that doing everything I can to be the best me will always be enough to help my kids be the best they can be.
I know this seems to be a blog of random thoughts and those of you reading may have no idea where I am going with this one. Let me explain. All of the random thoughts above are one’s that often go through my mind. I find myself quite often wondering if we really have control over our lives, who we encounter during our time on earth, how we deal with situations thrown our way and if what we do on earth has any bearing on the things that happen to us during our life time.
After everything I have been through in my life, both good and bad, I have come to the conclusion that there is one word that answers all of the things I randomly wrote about above. The answer is YES. One way or another, in some situation the answer to all of the above is yes. I will never understand why so many obstacles have been thrown my way. To this very question - the answer I get from many is, “because you can handle it”
Although this may be true - I think even those who have the strongest will to help others and the ability to find a way to deal with whatever life throws at them, every person deserves a break at some point. Everyone deserves time to just be able to sit back, smell the roses and enjoy their life. I know I say that I deserve this too – that I want to have that peace and tranquility - but then I think again and say to myself,” now what would someone like me (A type personality, always needing to help solve problems) do with peace and tranquility.” The answer is I don’t know. Even when I am on “vacation” my mind is all over the place thinking of what I need to do next, how I can help my oldest son have a great life and what am I going to need to do in order to help my younger son have a great life as well.
Last week I sat and talked to a behavior interventionist about where we were with my oldest son at age 2 and where we are now at age 4.75. She sat there smiling and shaking her head as I lit up discussing all of the obstacles he has overcome and how, in just the last 2 months, he has really begun to “grown into himself”. I shared how great he is as a big brother, sharing, comforting and just playing with his little brother. Talking about how he finds such a sense of pride in being a big brother and how it has brought so much confidence out in him.
We talked about the areas he still needs some help “training his brain” and what he will be able to accomplish once this takes place. My little 4.75 year old has to deal with more on a daily basis than I ever wish on anyone. Every day he has to think harder, try harder and do more just to be a “typical” child. Every time I speak with a professional about how he used to act and who he has become, a sense of pride takes over for a brief moment and then quickly fades away. Although it fades into a memory, it brings me more strength and helps me stay focused on knowing that it is one day at a time and reminds me that I should take the time to celebrate the small accomplishments.
It takes a village to build a strong foundation that can carry one through their lifetime. If you start out with cracks in that foundation, sometimes you can patch up the walls but other times no matter how hard you try to patch the cracks, the holes open back up and the building collapses. Yet if you take the time to tear down the cracked foundation and rebuild it one brick or one stone at a time, what you may find is a strong, sturdy building that can last a lifetime. I think of what we have done for our son and what we continue to do as laying a solid foundation that will outlast any obstacle thrown our way. Life often throws you a curveball and it is what you decide to do with that curveball that makes the difference. Every day you have a choice to live your life one way or another. You can choose to ask for help or stay quiet. You can choose to blame others or look in the mirror and take ownership. You can choose to sulk, thinking of the cards you were dealt or do something to make your life and the lives around you better. I make the choice every day to do just that – I know that if I don’t choose to wake up, put a smile on my face and make the best of each day that not only am I letting myself down but I am also letting my kids and husband down. Putting myself first is not something that comes easy to me, yet I know that doing everything I can to be the best me will always be enough to help my kids be the best they can be.
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