And Away We Go

The premise behind the launch of this website, re-branded blog and creating Bloom, LLC started over 40 years ago perched on a branch, high above the grass below, looking out over the neighborhood. Daydreaming about one day truly being my best self, living my truth and knowing it is not just ok but beautiful to be different, to be me! So here we are - 42 years after the thoughts of being different, not fitting in, why me, why not me - I am finally at my best, seeing clearly, know my true self and grounded in good intentions driven by love and a servant leadership mentality. At my core, I am about helping other help themselves be their best. Most of my life - as far back as I can remember - I heard "you are too nice" "you care too much" "you do too much for others" "people walk all over you" "why would you do that for someone" and the quotes go on and on. Funny enough, those that asked me that the most were the one's who are still to this day struggling with who they are as people, uncomfortable in their own skin, some possibly even feeling broken inside - yet outwardly look like they love life, are confident and established, full of life and rich in monetary gain and rewards to prove it.

Me - well I am happy - damn even proud to say - I love myself - perfect imperfections and all! At 47 years old, I know that I am enough! Any monetary reward, recognition, compliment, any person who loves me (even my family) is a nice to have - a want if you will - and not a need! This may sound harsh to some, yet to me it means everything. It has taken me all this time to realize I am enough - Loving myself is enough - Being myself is enough - In fact it is everything I need to live my best life, live my truth and love my life. For all of you saying wow, well what about your friends, family, children and perhaps those that "love me from afar" for one reason or another - admiration, inspiration, hope or otherwise - Don't worry I am grateful, humbled and thankful to have each and every one of you in my life. My point is that "And Away We Go" would not be coming together if that final missing piece of the puzzle hadn't appeared through visualization and a light-bulb moment that brought it into focus.

I sincerely thank each and every person that has touched my life for the puzzle pieces that make up my reality, that helped me create this life where I can be my best, do my best and love myself at my best.

Why is Loving myself so important? Well for most of my life I was so busy trying to "fix others" by loving them so much that I lost sight of how important it is to love yourself! For so long I hid behind serving others because it was a great way to hide how I was really feeling inside. If I could just fix someone else and make their life better, it would make mine better - I mean of course it had to be that way..........why else would I feel so good when I helped others succeed.

Well duh, it doesn't work that way! In fact it does quite the opposite and took a huge toll on the person I was always meant to be - the person I felt in my heart and soul yet my mind and body couldn't connect the dots and so for most of my life I felt like an impostor. The more I poured my heart and soul into helping others, first family and friends, then spouse and kids, then co-workers and clients - hell even offered out pro-bono work thinking that it would be a quid-pro-quo.

Let's talk about how the Quid-pro-quo helped with the puzzle coming into focus. I suspect you can imagine that I never got the reciprocity I had anticipated! You guessed right! Yeah, that slap in the face was a hell of a wake up call. Out of respect for the parent and child, no detailed events will be written here. After numerous hours were spent reviewing documents and attending school meetings with the mother of my son's friend - simply because she was a parent in need of help articulating their expectations and building the foundation to truly give their child everything they needed to align with their Special Education needs along with a twice exceptional diagnosis - When I needed support where her expertise would have been the best solution - she told me she couldn't be of help.

To this day, I am not sure why she was so comfortable just saying sorry, can't help you out, but what I do know is that my heart is thankful that she did it! Not because she said no when I needed her help, but because she said no and it finally registered that No One is going to go out on a limb like I do for people. It showed me that while my greatest gift is giving, it can also be my own worst enemy. So from that day on I began to see how serving others also needs to be in alignment with serving myself.

High above the ground - sitting on a branch overlooking my neighborhood - the first seed to this Journey2Bloom was planted.

Wrapped up in a year

I found this one sitting in my drafts and thought I would dust it off and share.  Enjoy.............

Over a year has passed since I posted, but that doesn't mean there hasn't been a lot to write about. Somehow as we get older the days get seem to get shorter and shorter. I suppose I should have listened to the quote I often heard growing up: the older you get the faster the days seem to come and go.

My oldest now in 2nd and youngest in Pre-K. Both of my children now have IEPs for very different areas of concern. 💞

Getting the 2nd one into the RECC program was not so easy. After a lot of back and forth and a bit of luck, we transitioned our youngest out of general preschool and into the RECC program.  If it were up to the tests and the standard system, we would never have gotten into the RECC program.  The first year in RECC was fantastic. Not only did our 3 year old grow tremendously in numerous developmental delayed areas, during the year I was asked back 2 times to revise his IEP and asked if it was ok to add services.  In the 3 previous years of dealing with IEP meetings for my oldest son, I never once had the school ask me if it was ok to add services. In fact, I had to fight tooth and nail for every service my oldest obtained from age 2.5 to present.  I felt extremely blessed to be asked if it was "ok" to add additional services that would ultimately assist my youngest in being a well rounded, happy socially accepted  and successful student,  During the first year of RECC with my youngest, he went from barely understandable and constant tantrums to partially understandable and seemingly on the track to happiness.

Fast forward 6 months.  Now half way through his Pre-K year, and thanks to the Speech, OT and PT specialists he is well on his way to being ready for Kindergarten.  A little kid who went from being introverted and unsure of every word, step and move he made to a kid who would tell you what he wanted, walk up stairs like he had been doing it for years and climb and slide like it was a piece of cake - making me think - who is this kid and how did I get so lucky.  Then reality hit once again - academically he wasn’t getting what he needed to set him up for kindergarten success The areas he was growing in, slowly but surely was based on hard work, consistency, collaboration, determination and once again a dream team of specialist surrounding me.  

Many nights I find myself wondering why I got so lucky to have such an amazing support system around me. Why was I surrounded by people, old and new that felt it necessary to take my kids under their wing, spend time with me to help me truly understand what it is I am dealing with, no matter how different each child's situation and still to this day are my foundation, my rock, my support, my kids advocates and my path forward.  Then it hits me - or someone reminds me - I’m not lucky I’m a survivor, a concerned mother determined to collaborate with, listen to, and yes, sometimes push forward the team of educators supporting, guiding, encouraging and sometimes underestimating my children. 

For those that read this, thank you! For those that know someone who may benefit from reading this, please share!  Paying it forward is so important because going through this journey is More Than Any One Person Can Handle Alone!

#Bloom
#Ittakesavillage

#Movingmountains

More Than Any One Person Can Handle

Head is spinning and unsure of what to do first.  I know that one thing at a time and 1% better daily with any consistency and/or progress is all I need to continue moving forward on this long, windy and yes sometimes almost unbearable journey toward ensuring my boys live the best possible life @ their full potential.  

Pushed, Pulled, Knocked Down, Get Back Up. Scream, Cry, Laugh, Breathe, Do it ALL Over Again.

Lean in on my tribe but sometimes unsure what to say or how much to share. It is hard to explain what is happening when the other person has never lived through or watched someone they love live through these situations and so, by default, are unaware of what they don't know. I can't blame them for not knowing what they don't know or trying to offer advice, when done so with the best of intentions.  

People often share their stories, each impactful in their own way.  After all of these years I now know that sometimes an ear or a hug is all I really want or need to keep moving ahead.  Those closest to me understand that to be the case and are able to "lean in and pull back" as the journey continues on.  

Hearing your child say they are "stupid" because everything is just so hard, or they can't remember something or they hit/scratched or bit out of impulse or inability to share their emotions verbally is excruciatingly heart breaking.  Not to mention it leaves you feeling paralyzed and broken knowing you can't fix or shelter them from this reality that swirls through their thoughts, their brain and then body.  

So now what?  how do you deal with all of the ups and downs?  Move forward with a smile, stay grounded and focused on the min-steps "wins" forward.  Here's how:
You celebrate every single thing, no matter how small (could be 1 day without screaming, hell even 1 hour without screaming OR a day of laughter and no mention of feeling stupid). Intentionally focus on what is going right, on the support you have around you, the progress you are making as a family and your child as an individual.  Intentionally make a conscious decision not to allow setbacks to deter you or worst yet, create a landslide backwards.  

I often say it Takes A Village - What I don't often say is what they do for my mental, physical and emotional state - many if not most times those closest to me are there to hold me up, give me a hug, an ear to listen to without responding -> No Judgement -> no Attachment -> just their time and unconditional friendship allowing me to offload and trying so hard to understand and empathize and most importantly letting me know they are there regardless of if they can relate.  If they can, we share stories and if they can't they remind me of how far we have come, how hard we have worked and how many wins we have to celebrate.  

Every Journey is different - we all adjust, adapt, respond differently to any given situation, so to think, or worse, expect others to truly understand your journey is pretty damn unrealistic. 

We all learned early in life never to assume(makes an ass out of you and me) so DON'T do it!

We are also taught early on to be brave, independent - not to ask for help - instead just figure it out because asking for help is a sign of weakness.   I am here to call BULLSHIT on all of that - Asking for guidance and support is a sign of STRENGTH.  Being self aware and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to seek support from experts that know what you don't know is a sign of STRENGTH.  

If I had followed the words of "wisdom" and pressure from some of my own family members to figure it out, neither of my children would be where they are today. In fact neither would I!  

Reality is - dealing with any complex situation is more than any One person can handle!

So what do you do with all of this?  My POV, for whatever it is worth -> Be Vulnerable, Self-Reflective and allow yourself to ask, or scream for HELP!  Better yet, give yourself permission and space to lean in on your village before you spiral. WHY you ask?  Because until you are your best self, you can't be good to you or others that count on you to guide, support and hold them up when they need it most.  HOW do you do this?  Great question - It requires daily work mentally, emotionally, socially and physically and a glass of Vino can't hurt 💙💚 After all they say it is good for your heart so who am I to argue with science?

Feeling overwhelmed? Like you are frozen in time and unable to clear your mind enough to even take a first step forward? I get it, been there and often end up back there but now, after many years of self reflection and mindful work, I can get myself unfrozen and focused on moving forward.  


By now, well if you read this far, you are likely asking yourself NOW WHAT?  WHAT does this look like for me?  WHERE do I even begin?  Tell ME What To DO! 

The bad news is I can't tell you what to do AND yet the good news is I can continue to share my journey and how I chip away at the mountain one tiny section at a time, knowing that this is a long journey and not a trip to the corner store!

It comes in many forms and only you will know what is best for your family.  I can tell you it is an emotional roller coaster and takes a lot of patience, willingness to get back up every time you get knocked down by fear, frustration, an intervention or a medicine that didn't help the way you thought it would.  It takes a lot of research, and resilience and a tribe of people around you, most importantly experts in specific fields that you are not and others who are experts in unconditional love.  

WHY Unconditional Love? From my personal experience I realized early on that going with my gut and not listening to others opinions of what to do or how to handle any of the many different situations that reared their ugly and confusing heads through our journey was key to my SANITY!  Opening up to people, even family members that had their OPINION on what I should be doing only caused more stress and anxiety which didn't help me, or our son at all.  In fact, given that anxiety affects both of my boys moods and reactions, it was detrimental to our boys unique situations.  It caused a lot of confusion, resentment, frustration, fighting and I even let go of some friendships (looking back they weren't people I wanted in my TRUSTED circle anyway) so it ended up as it was meant to be.  The hardest thing I had to do SO FAR - over the last 11 years - is distance myself from members of my own Family.  

Yes you read that right - I spent months and in some cases years not speaking with family members who though they new best, refused to seek to understand why we would reach out to experts - in the areas we knew little to nothing about - for help on what could have been the underlying triggers causing poor behavior, emotional meltdowns, inability to interact socially like the other "typically developing" kids and the list goes on and on.  The silver lining here is, with my second child, who has a very different set of learning, cognitive, executive functioning and impulsive issues, those family members chose to research, ask questions and truly seek to understand the situation we were dealing with and the outcome has been fantastic.  

For parents who are very "set in their way" it means the world to me that they are truly engaged and open-minded with our second son's situation. It is amazing the difference between the fights and negative responses I would hear about our oldest son - things like WHY would you go see a Psychiatrist to help sort out what is going on, WHO needs a behaviorist to help create behavior change and teach right from wrong?  Just parent and he will just outgrow it.  😏 If Only it was that simple!  What they came to find out was that all of the time, money and effort aligning with our village of specialists - enabled our oldest to fill in his missing "pieces" and get him to where he is  today - in middle school, GT Classes, and on his way to a Straight A quarter!  Based on their observations of what we invested into our oldest, they now believe what we are doing to help our youngest be his best possible self is the right path.  

I shared the above paragraph to show you that even if there are non-believers in your life that you are holding out hope on becoming supporters, they too may one day come full circle - admitting that the road less traveled, the one YOU were willing to take, afforded your child the space to learn and grow into his/her best self.

For those that read this, thank you! For those that know someone who may benefit from reading this, please share!  Paying it forward is so important because going through this journey is More Than Any One Person Can Handle Alone!

#Bloom
#Ittakesavillage

The Journey to Bloom - Every Child Deserves To Live Their Best Life

As I debated whether or not it was time to share my company logo with the entire Facebook world, so many thoughts and emotions swirled through my mind. Over the last 11 years there has been so much anger, sadness, confusion, excitement, exhaustion, frustration of setbacks and celebrations of forward progress. While it has been a roller coaster ride, filled with twists, turns, legs dangling, sometimes stalled upside down on the track or sitting at the top of a huge dip about to take my breath away and leave a pit in my stomach - in the final moments before I hit save, the only feeling I had was Certainty.

I haven't been this certain of anything in over 20 years and boy does it feel amazing. Wondering, when was the last time I actually had such a feeling of certainty? One word, Gymnastics!

The sense of belonging, teamwork, collaboration, freedom to achieve whatever goal I allowed my mind to believe it could achieve and taking the steps to make it happen, no matter how tough the journey.

While life was much different, and one may not see where the parallels would come into view, for me it's serendipitous and for the first time in a very long time everything makes sense. When I was in the gym, I was in my element, flying through the air, in control of my destiny while pushing myself past limits I never new possible with the support and yes many times push of my coaches and teammates.

I was comfortable with me, trusted my decisions and had goal after goal that I was committed to accomplishing. In the end my own fears and insecurities, along with injuries, led to the end of the world I once knew as the one place I could be Me,my happy place.

During those years, I wanted nothing more than for my team members to be successful because the more successful they were the harder I worked at being that much better myself. The only person I was in competition with was me. Other's success made me happy, increased my energy, focus and yearning to do great things as a teammate and an individual performer. The moments, hours and years I spent in the gym were many of the best and worst days of my life yet all in all I wouldn't change any of it (well most of it at least) because without much of what I endured I wouldn't be who I am today.

The everlasting relationships, mentors, "sister's", confidants, and coaches who I still turn to for guidance, an ear, or a shoulder from time to time made the ride worth it! Without this foundation my level of dedication, never give up mentality, keep moving forward, glass always somewhat full vs. somewhat empty and undeniably unique lifelong friendships that can't be put into words would not be part of who I am as a person and what drives me to keep going as a mom, parent advocate and now, professional advocate. My journey to Bloom has been anything but easy, yet it has been meaningful, eye-opening and even therapeutic. While this journey that began almost 11 years ago started with a 100% focus on my oldest son, it turned into a self reflecting and everlasting transformation for me and our entire family. I learned what it meant to not know how to socialize, how hard it can be to learn to write, balance, jump and even talk. Many tears were shed over the years, and sometimes I still breakdown, there are still some really hard days! What keeps me going is my family, the village of experts and unconditional friendships that have guided me, encouraged me, listened to me, at times told me what I needed to hear not what I wanted to hear and last but certainly not least ALWAYS believed in me - most days even more than I believed in myself.

Through these trying times, I realized the true meaning of unconditional love, saw judging from people I never thought would judge, other times family members told me what I should do to help my child, or said he would just grow out of it and asked why I was seeking outside support to help me figure out how to help him live his best life! There were even some who chose to close the door on our friendship or that of their child's with my oldest. After all these years, self reflection and overall analysis of this road less traveled I wouldn't have it any other way.

At 46, I know what is most important doesn't come from what others think, say or do, it comes from within and how you approach things, care about others, embrace change and tough times, all in all allowing yourself to grow, change and learn through the transformation.

While my now 6th grader who, after being told he would never go to a normal school, transitioned off an IEP and onto a 504 in 3rd grade and is now in 2 GT classes, chorus, made honor roll AND does year round competitive swim. Couldn't be more proud of what has been accomplished through blood,sweat and tears with this amazing kiddo My story doesn't start and stop there. 8 years ago we had our second son and for the first few years everything appeared to be "normal" He was our little Sunshine, go with the flow, great sleeper and eater kiddo. At that time we thought oh yeah this one is going to be a nice stroll in the park..................WRONG.............Fast forward to age 3 1/2..............that is where the next journey begins. To be Continued......................

After researching opportunities, being accepted into the SEAT COPAA program, going through the intense coursework and hands on Practicum training with my wonderful Attorney Advocate, the journey led to the launch of my business Bloom Special Education Advocacy, LLC.

I feel privileged to be able to serve others the way others have served me thus far through my journey. I know first hand how hard this journey is - the difficulties in identifying what is triggering certain behaviors or delays in a child's academic, social and emotional performance, the frustration of not knowing where to begin when working with the school system and then once at the table, feeling overwhelmed and unable to truly understanding the importance of collaboration, knowledge and ideal overall approach to ensuring your child has the ability to learn in a way that ultimately allows them to live their best life.

If you have General Questions, Need Help Navigating the System, Interested in having me as a guest speaker for a parent or teacher event or need an advocate please reach out to me. I welcome the opportunity to lead you through your unique journey.

You can find me on Facebook by searching -> @bloomspecialeducationadvocacy

Undercover Truth

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” Dr. Seuss

I began today's post with a quote from Dr. Seuss:   Those who follow my blog or read any posts from several years ago may have noticed other references to Dr. Seuss - Why you may ask? - Because as silly and simple as his books may seem to some, I am always able to find a deeper meaning within his words.  His ability to capture the hearts of so many people, young and old, is inspiring.  He has a way of bringing together so many different types of people, situations, characters with his fun and corky writing.  So how does this have anything to do with today's Title - everything and nothing!  If he had not cared enough to share his stories will all of us then I would never had learned the love of reading  these books with my children.  The memories of reading Green Eggs and Ham, One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish and the ABC book will always and forever bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.  I cherish those moments - so you see for me, he cared enough to share his undercover truth and in turn allowed us to create treasured memories with our children. 

What's with the title undercover truth?  Many times it takes a lot of persistence, trial and error and a lot of focused attention to figure out what the undercover truth is in relation to why a child is acting out, misbehaving, failing, floundering or anxious.  For my family, its Anxiety, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Executive Functioning, Visual Processing Disorder and who knows what else that affect our every day life.  One of these is enough to drain the energy out of the kiddo and put a parent, sibling, relative, teacher and/or caregiver on edge. Add in ones inability to put themselves in the child's shoes, truly understand what they might be going through and how outside actions and interactions impact the child's response to any given situation and you have a lot of emotions going around in circles with no positive end in sight.   Now, step back and try to imagine a curve ball that was thrown at you during your younger years, or even adult years.  How did you handle it? Most likely you were you able to problem solve your way through it or knew enough to look for answers or ask for help.  Now imagine not having the tools to be able to do any of those things, and instead, your thoughts are jumbled together with no way to decipher what is right or wrong  let alone the ability to get yourself through the issue at hand.  Sounds exhausting and frustrating does't it?    

It seems like not a day goes by without one of us feeling worried, nervous or uneasy about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.  Many times for me, it's comes from not knowing what may trigger worries, uncertainty or even anxiety in one or both of our boys.  These moments often lead to difficult minutes or sometimes difficult hours trying to help one or both self-regulate.     

No matter the trigger, Anxiety is all around us and within us.  Whether or not one realizes, acknowledges, or admits that a reaction or behavior unfolding because of stress is then inadvertently accompanied by anxiety it is more than likely a component of these situations.  As a result, the action or reaction that follows is often driven by emotion instead of objectivity, coupled with mistakes, ultimately ending in unexpected events.  

We are all human- well most of us are :) - which means we all make mistakes - even when we choose to not admit them - Why? - Because regardless of what one believes no one is perfect.  Also true, is that, some people choose to learn from what goes on around them and others choose to ignore it.  It is not a matter of right and wrong, more a matter of seeking to understand how and why a situation ended in the way it did, what could have been done differently, really reflecting on and thinking about all components and deciding if you would have done it differently, provided the opportunity for a "do over".  

I know from experience that emotions and inability to think clearly in the moment clouds one's judgement yet I strongly believe that pride nor loyalty should ever override ones integrity.    Be true to you and your beliefs.  Take the time to find the undercover truth so that you can work toward resolution and a better way of life for you and or your child.  Figure out what is triggering the anxiety or other behaviors so that in time it becomes something you manage instead of something that manages you. 

    

Visual Processing Disorder and Vision Therapy - Huh?

Just over a year ago, my best friend asked if my 7 year old had ever been to the eye dr. to have his vision checked, I said yes and he can see fine.  The next statement stunned me - what about an assessment to see if he may need Vision Therapy…..to which I reacted as you may expect - "my son can see fine, why would he need vision therapy?"  If this discussion wasn't taking place with my best friend, I may have brushed it off to be insane thinking, but it was with my best friend, and I am grateful I took her concerns seriously. 

After discussing the concerns with my husband and then with his Special Education Case Manager, the consensus was to find a specialist and have the full assessment done.  After all, it couldn't hurt to find out if this therapy could actually help him and/or that he didn't need it after all.

Fast forward a few months to test day…………..I can't put into words the mix of emotions felt as we watched him struggle to complete simple puzzles, see shapes well only to look at them 30 minutes later and not be able to ascertain what he was looking at the 2nd time around.   He struggled to mirror simple images such as a triangle, square or infinity sign.  Connect the dots was a zigzag mess and reading, well reading that was nothing short of excruciating to watch.  The only positive we had to hold onto at that time was knowing we made the right decision to bring him in for the assessment.  Fast forward again about 2 weeks……….Results day……………..Talk about another mentally draining day for us.  As we sat in the room with the Eye Doctor, listening to the results and recommended plan of action, we began to truly understand how hard X had to work just to read a simple word, add and subtract and put together a 2-3 piece puzzle.  We were told he was processing and saw information at a 5 year old level and the Dr. was amazed that he could read at all.  She went onto say that the good news is he has figured out a way to read, and with the right amount of intense therapy he would make significant and substantial progress in school, in sports and in life overall.  

During our consultation, she explained how Visual Processing Disorder affects the entire visual system which includes eyes, brain and body and that it was important to understand that vision therapy is a form of neurological training or rehabilitation (similar to occupational therapy or physical therapy). She went onto explain that the goal of vision therapy is to train the patient's brain to use the eyes to receive information effectively, comprehend it quickly and react appropriately.  To be honest, I was blown away to realize just how connected our vision is to the above.  Once our Dr. explained how all the pieces fit together, we quickly realized that this is the missing piece to providing our son with the best possible program to give him the best life has to offer him.  

We found out that his sessions would include a program designed to enhance his brain's ability to control eye alignment, eye movements, focusing abilities, and eye teamwork (binocular vision). The Dr. also explained how Visual-motor skills and endurance are developed through the use of specialized computer and optical devices, some of which are now our son's favorite part of therapy. She went onto say that before he would "graduate"  from Vision Therapy, his therapist would spend a solid number of sessions making sure his newly acquired visual skills are reinforced and made automatic through repetition and by integration with motor and cognitive skills.

Given the low tone, fine and gross motor skill delay and how hard it is for him to do so many things connected to the above topics, we knew then and there that Vision Therapy was the missing puzzle piece and would in fact be an important part of the overall treatment program to minimize the impact our child's learning disabilities had on his ability to thrive in the classroom, at sports and in life.  His vision and sensory-motor deficits are causing eyestrain, blurred vision, loss of place while reading, and difficulty maintaining attention on close work. For a son who has already been diagnosed with hyperactive and inattentive form of ADHD, it makes a tough situation nearly impossible to trudge through without specialists, experts, a lot of patience, love and persistence.   Over time, we learned that even intelligent, highly motivated children can be severely handicapped by these problems in the academic environment and correcting these deficits allows those affected to benefit from academic remediation and to achieve their full potential in the classroom, in business, in sports and in life. 

Our son's self esteem was non-existent and he used anger and comedy to get through each day the best he knew how, all the while struggling to read words such as the, and etc.   During the initial set of sessions with the Dr, she explained that children with vision problems often have a history of underachievement and frustration, however the achievement level is because of the disorder and not because they are not as "smart" as other kids. So while the result is low self esteem and a lack of confidence, the trigger is something that when found early, and with focus, determination, consistency and persistence can get easier, allowing the child to feel successful, resulting in higher self esteem, better grades and all around better experience for the child and those around them.  

So now we have hope and statistics that show it works. In fact, the daughter of a special educator in our school went through the program.  Not only did she "graduate" from it, she went from reading below grade level to above grade level. You may be thinking, well how long did that take and how much did it cost.............Great questions.

From what we can tell, every situation is different and the Vision Therapy program that works for our son is created just for him based on his initial test results and the progress he makes at each 16 session "progress" meeting he has with the Dr.  The program will vary based on the severity of the conditions being treated, the patient's motivation and readiness, and the number of therapy sessions per week the patient can attend. Our son goes 2 times a week and is making great strides, going from testing at a 5 year old level to a 6 year old level in less than 6 months.  For us, his program duration is expected to be up to 2 years. However that is not to say that other's may not be able to "graduate" in just a few months.  We do know that he won't be in VT forever and that every session and re-assessment is based on actionable goals and progress so it is certainly a "goal-oriented therapy." What this means is that if individual goals are not being met, they are being tweaked until the right mix of tasks and activities are put in place for the child to succeed in getting to their highest possible level based on their specific situation.  While Vision therapy is not cheap as our insurance has a "clause stating VT is not covered" it has been effective AND we(me, husband, teachers, special educators, coaches) are seeing the progress unfold before our eyes.  That makes it well worth it's weight in gold. 

Best of all, once the skills are embedded in our son's every day routine, his newfound visual abilities naturally become self-reinforcing, resulting in a habit we never want him to break. 

#inspireresilience
#SEATCertifiedAdvocate

Life altering moments......and thoughts from another member of our Village

One decision can change the course of a life forever.............I asked another member of our village - one of Joseph’s former ABA specialist’s - if he recalled the day, about 8 years ago, when he made the decision to stay almost an hour after his end time to ensure Joseph followed through on a directive he was given as part of his therapy.  This decision became one of the KEY turning points for Joseph.  Not only did he not get away with the behavior he was exhibiting - it was the first big step toward our ability to help him help himself cope with his Spectrum Disorder, understanding boundaries, connecting the dots between right and wrong and learning to live in the gray instead of in black and white wiring of his brain.  

On this particular night, toward the end of his session, Joseph was asked to complete a non-preferred activity. An activity mind you, that should have taken all of 5 minutes to complete and at time of completion led to the reward of a preferred activity that he was very much so interested in getting to quickly.  The ask was something hard for him to complete without a lot of focus and effort on his part.  Once frustrated and unable to self-regulate things spiraled out of control.  Instead of completing the non-preferred activity in 5 minutes, it took over an hour. 

A long, exhausting, excruciatingly painful 30 minutes or more of screams, kicks, crying, scratching and throwing of whatever was close to him.  Following Franco’s guidance, we kept calm and as silent as possible, all the while redirecting him back to what we asked him to complete many minutes earlier.  We were a united front, taking a tag team approach to keep him from escaping to another part of the house as he did everything in his power to avoid completing the task at hand.  

How the event unfolded from the words of Franco, ABA therapist and a member of our Village:

“I do remember that time you are referencing. If I remember correctly we were working with Joseph's flexibility when instructed that playtime was over. I think you took his sword away (which he had just begun hitting the TV screen with) and he was not happy. You then calmly sat down on the couch to read your book while holding his sword and he started dumping out all of his toys and throwing them all over your living room. I remember we just let him go at it for like 20 minutes and every so often he would look over your way to see if you would give him attention. You did a great job "reading" your book as that was our strategy to have Joseph work through the event! After he was done, I believe I gave him the instructions to clean everything up and that's when he thought it was a good time to leave the scene! We were able to sort of just stand in the way of the only exit out of your living room chatting while he tried to leave and we made him frustrated for a good moment but after some time he finally realized we weren't giving in and he put away ALL of his toys, apologized to me and you and we praised him for doing such a great job! I feel like that day was a breakthrough for all 3 of us as I think we all sort of clicked and was really the beginning of a successful run of sessions with Joseph!”

Had we let the end time of the session and/or his poor behavior choices deter us from standing our ground and following through, I have no doubt the years that followed and are yet to come would have been and would be very different than what we have experienced and what we have yet to experience.   There is no doubt in my mind that this event changed the course of our eldest’s life for the better and in turn the future of our entire family. 

For those not familiar with our path, this is a child we were told, by a licensed Psychologist, would never have a normal life and that we should seek to find Autism groups and counseling to help us move forward.  If we had listened to this person and not gone with our gut I am certain he wouldn’t be going into middle school, with more coping skills and manners than many adults, taking GT and above grade level classes, on a year-round competitive swim team, surrounded by a great group of friends and the only residue of what still lingers from the spectrum disorder that lies within, being supported by a 504 plan.  If this post provides strength to even one person wondering where to go next and if ABA or other specialized services could change the course for your child, family and/or lives of those around them, then it was well worth the time it took me to write it!

Decisions made during the most crucial moments either lead to profoundly wonderful life altering results or devastatingly life altering consequences.  There is always a choice, choose carefully!