The premise behind the launch of this website, re-branded blog and creating Bloom, LLC started over 40 years ago perched on a branch, high above the grass below, looking out over the neighborhood. Daydreaming about one day truly being my best self, living my truth and knowing it is not just ok but beautiful to be different, to be me! So here we are - 42 years after the thoughts of being different, not fitting in, why me, why not me - I am finally at my best, seeing clearly, know my true self and grounded in good intentions driven by love and a servant leadership mentality. At my core, I am about helping other help themselves be their best. Most of my life - as far back as I can remember - I heard "you are too nice" "you care too much" "you do too much for others" "people walk all over you" "why would you do that for someone" and the quotes go on and on. Funny enough, those that asked me that the most were the one's who are still to this day struggling with who they are as people, uncomfortable in their own skin, some possibly even feeling broken inside - yet outwardly look like they love life, are confident and established, full of life and rich in monetary gain and rewards to prove it.
Me - well I am happy - damn even proud to say - I love myself - perfect imperfections and all! At 47 years old, I know that I am enough! Any monetary reward, recognition, compliment, any person who loves me (even my family) is a nice to have - a want if you will - and not a need! This may sound harsh to some, yet to me it means everything. It has taken me all this time to realize I am enough - Loving myself is enough - Being myself is enough - In fact it is everything I need to live my best life, live my truth and love my life. For all of you saying wow, well what about your friends, family, children and perhaps those that "love me from afar" for one reason or another - admiration, inspiration, hope or otherwise - Don't worry I am grateful, humbled and thankful to have each and every one of you in my life. My point is that "And Away We Go" would not be coming together if that final missing piece of the puzzle hadn't appeared through visualization and a light-bulb moment that brought it into focus.
I sincerely thank each and every person that has touched my life for the puzzle pieces that make up my reality, that helped me create this life where I can be my best, do my best and love myself at my best.
Why is Loving myself so important? Well for most of my life I was so busy trying to "fix others" by loving them so much that I lost sight of how important it is to love yourself! For so long I hid behind serving others because it was a great way to hide how I was really feeling inside. If I could just fix someone else and make their life better, it would make mine better - I mean of course it had to be that way..........why else would I feel so good when I helped others succeed.
Well duh, it doesn't work that way! In fact it does quite the opposite and took a huge toll on the person I was always meant to be - the person I felt in my heart and soul yet my mind and body couldn't connect the dots and so for most of my life I felt like an impostor. The more I poured my heart and soul into helping others, first family and friends, then spouse and kids, then co-workers and clients - hell even offered out pro-bono work thinking that it would be a quid-pro-quo.
Let's talk about how the Quid-pro-quo helped with the puzzle coming into focus. I suspect you can imagine that I never got the reciprocity I had anticipated! You guessed right! Yeah, that slap in the face was a hell of a wake up call. Out of respect for the parent and child, no detailed events will be written here. After numerous hours were spent reviewing documents and attending school meetings with the mother of my son's friend - simply because she was a parent in need of help articulating their expectations and building the foundation to truly give their child everything they needed to align with their Special Education needs along with a twice exceptional diagnosis - When I needed support where her expertise would have been the best solution - she told me she couldn't be of help.
To this day, I am not sure why she was so comfortable just saying sorry, can't help you out, but what I do know is that my heart is thankful that she did it! Not because she said no when I needed her help, but because she said no and it finally registered that No One is going to go out on a limb like I do for people. It showed me that while my greatest gift is giving, it can also be my own worst enemy. So from that day on I began to see how serving others also needs to be in alignment with serving myself.
High above the ground - sitting on a branch overlooking my neighborhood - the first seed to this Journey2Bloom was planted.
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