Along the way
I will share some thoughts and memories from various village
members, without whom we would NEVER have made it to this point in our
journey. First up - Andrea, our
oldest son's 3-year-old preschool teacher.
Her unique background - therapist turned pre-school teacher allowed her to see past the behaviors, provide
insights into the triggers and offer support in how to best work with
Joseph. She led by example in every way
possible and was a calm and encouraging educator that always saw the potential
in our child, even when others were ready to throw in the towel. While we now live on opposite sides of the
country, our connection and relationship remains strong. She will always hold a special place in our
hearts and I am forever grateful to her for many things including the
unconditional guidance, support and love she provided from the first
moment. Read on to see what she had to
say………….
The first
time I met Lisa and Joseph, they walked into my classroom.... Joseph with a big
smile and Lisa kind, gentle and a bit nervous. As Lisa watched, I
interacted with Joseph. He immediately spotted a huge, heavy, wooden
castle (Melissa and Doug for those of you who know their products). Joseph
went straight for it and threw it across my room. Mom stared in
disbelief and I immediately got down to his level and firmly, but lovingly,
told Joseph he was not going to do things like this in my class. We
picked it up together. I showed him how it was broken and that we
could no longer play with it. I took him around the room, staying by
his side, but allowing him to touch and explore.... we
connected. Mom and Dad had to decide if our school and my classroom
was the right place for their son. One
thing was certain, regardless of their decision, Lisa let me know she would
replace the doll house and she did. Finally,
their decision was made and Joseph was enrolled in our school and became a
student in my classroom.
The year had
its ups and downs, but as the year progressed there were far more ups than
downs. Joseph caught on to my facial cues very quickly and began to
look for these before reacting. That smile of his, wow, it could
make me melt. We became a team, we worked together. His
social skills were not there and he had difficulty with his boundaries with his
friends. Joseph would react with his body, getting too close,
kicking, hitting. I didn't want his friends to shy away from him, so
I stayed close enough to stop the physical interaction, but far enough away to
allow him the space to grow. So, went the year.... tremendous growth
in an incredible little boy with that big smile.
When Joseph loves he loves hard. He
loves his family, he loves his friends, he loves school, but most importantly,
Joseph was learning to love himself. In doing this he needed to learn to
trust himself. He became very attached to a Lightening McQueen car I had
in my class. I began using this toy as a special tool. We talked
about taking care of Lightening McQueen, being gentle, kind and loving with
"him". We talked about how we needed to treat our friends like
we treated Lightening McQueen. It worked.... Joseph loved this toy, he
could relate to this object that sat by itself on a shelf waiting for someone
to want to play with it.... Joseph was that toy. Every day he came in,
took that lonely toy off the shelf and incorporated it into his play, his daily
routine. As he became more confident, Lightening McQueen became more of a
symbol... a symbol of what Joseph was capable of and what he could
accomplish. That toy was never far behind, but was no longer a
replacement for friendships. Joseph flourished. When the year ended and
Joseph was about to leave my class, that final day in June, I made a gift of
Lightening McQueen to him. That little frightened boy and that brave red
car, had done so much for each other, had come so far together, and that's
where they needed to stay ... together.
Lisa was on
board with everything. She is a mother that every special needs
child deserves to have. As a new year began, she researched, sought
help, insisted on services and never gave up. Joseph was fortunate
to have an incredible shadow in his next class, whom he became very close
to. Lisa insisted on constant meetings between herself, the shadow,
the director of the preschool and his teacher. I know what she put
into these meetings, the questions and the information she gave because, as the
Asst. Director, I was included in a number of these. Joseph worked
hard and Lisa worked harder. He has grown to be a wonderful person,
afforded all the services in life he needed. Without Lisa this never
would have happened.
I will always
love Joseph. He and his family will always have a special place in
my heart.
Andrea
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