Thankful Thursday - Simplicity in a complex puzzle

I wholeheartedly believe recognizing the need for simplicity is essential in creating a pathway toward clarity, collaboration and change.

Solving a puzzle begins with 100's if not 1000's of different size and shaped pieces and while the box top shows a beautiful picture, it is certainly not obvious to someone who see's the pieces all over a table. Getting started may be difficult, yet starting simple by creating the border - then little by little filling in other parts that allow us to discover and reveal the big picture. Each step toward this end result brings a sense of accomplishment. Can you imagine having to figure out the puzzle without having a blueprint or photo of the end result?

Tough to imagine isn't it?

When it comes to understanding others What if:
~ we begin to think of neurodiversity as a a beautiful puzzle that takes patience and time to figure out?
~ we give ourselves permission and space to understand its underlying causes?
~ taking this simple approach opens up space to reveal a path forward?
~ everyone benefits from the knowledge and understanding discovered through this process?

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Helping parents, educators and professionals understand neurodiversity in order to support, empower and advise them on their journey with neuro-diverse learners.
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#thankfulthursday #collaboration #educatorsandparents #inspireresilience #simplicity #puzzlepieces  

#journey2bloom+#courage2fail = #in2gr8

Treasure Trove Tuesday - Life's Purpose

These 3 words show up for me as the very things I believe about every person I meet, have the opportunity to help, those who walk in and out of my life and those who have been here for most of it. 

Treasure - a collection of precious things. Something of great worth or value. A person esteemed as rare or precious. 

Trove - a valuable collection of something

Nugget - wisdom, valuable idea or fact  

I first decided on the words Treasure Trove for Tuesday topics, because I thought it would be fun to play around with the many meanings I could find online for each of the words. Each time I post on this topic, the words meaning becomes more clear and intense. This morning I took some time to sit outside on my patio, listen to nature around me and think about the deeper meaning. After some reflection, I recognized that the 3 words above not only touch my heartstrings they weave infinitely around my passion and life's purpose.  

Yes I am an Intentional Listener and Collaborator steering others toward the confidence and courage to speak up and bloom. I Transform~Lead~Mentor~Train~Envision~Empower~Support~Guide~Inspire 

However those are just ingredients that help clear the way to create the space for those I work with regardless of situation.  Over time I have come to recognize and acknowledge just how powerful some of my journeys "nuggets" are in guiding others to recognize and acknowledge how they are showing up in their current situation.   Finally accepting that my treasure trove of nuggets won't resonate with all people,  Using said ingredients creates a safe space to become vulnerable, objective, open-minded and productive in one's quest to solve whatever problem, conflict or uncertainly stands in the way of progress or growth.  

In order to move forward, one must clear their mind, find the courage to move through what has happened, what is to come, and give themselves permission to make mistakes along the way.  

Sharing little "nuggets" of information eventually creates a beautiful image/idea of tiny glowing gold pieces along the journey. Nuggets of information you can refer back to as you learn, grow and create - often times taking detours and needing a reminder that  it is ok to:

Not be ok ~ Not know all the answers ~ To ask for help 

Intentional listening, unconditional thoughts, objective responses, fit nicely into my life's purpose as I continue to grow through the opportunity to use my voice, my experiences and lessons learned to navigate others through their unique journey2bloom.

Interested in learning more about how we can move through your journey together? Reach out to me at journey2bloom@gmail.com.  

You can also check out my website - https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite - and inquire through it as well!

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #empower #parentsandprofessionals #neurdiversity #wordsmatter #vulnerability #permission #lifespurpose

Treasure-Trove Tuesday -> Selfish and Selfless – the delicate balance

Ever feel like you give and give and get nothing in return for your kindness, your selflessness?  It’s one of those things that slowly drains the energy out of you. It creeps up on you like a toddler who tiptoes into your room and then stands next to your bed, staring, until you open your eyes!  

Took me 40+ years to recognize, in order to do selfless acts and truly feel good about them, you also need to be a bit selfish at times.  Not selfish in a rude/unempathetic way, Selfish in a way that gives you the space to take care of yourself before taking care of others. 

Throughout the last 10+ years I have helped numerous parents and professionals reflect on habits and behaviors that impact or impede their ability to show up as their best self, open to receiving, willing to engage and collaborate when other’s thoughts/opinions don’t match what is in their minds.  Whether in the board room with executives or a school room with teachers and administration, everyone comes with their own agenda – expectations of how something will play out – and then when it doesn’t work in one’s favor, tempers flare, frustration occurs and no one wins.  

I have come to realize:  

~ Learning to balance selflessness with selfishness is an art. 

~ Learning to stay calm through adversity is an art.

~ The ability to truly understand one’s perspective, allowing yourself to “see” their perspective is an art. 

~ Being able to pull out what is most important and ask for more information is an art. 

There is a fine line between Selflessness and being a door mat. There is also a fine line between Selfishness and being self-absorbed. The former in small doses is essential for healthy self and relationships yet the latter can be detrimental to one’s relationships.

At the center of it all is self-awareness, patience, empathy, emotional intelligence AND a willingness to be good to yourself so that you can be good to others. There is a sense of calm necessary to accomplish this delicate balance.

 

#journey2bloom #courage2fail #selfcarematters #inspireresilience #treasuretrovetuesday #selfishandselfless #neurodiversity #parentsandprofessionals

Treasure-Trove Tuesday and Wonderment Wednesday Combo - embracing self worth and valuing your internal thoughts

     I spent most of my life seeking validation, outside gratification and approval to make myself feel "good".  I thought I needed validation from others in order to trust myself and boy is that exhausting!

About 2 years ago mindfulness and visualization became an integral part of my daily routine and as I formed these new habits, I no longer needed to please others to feel good about myself, my value and my worth.  It felt like a "500 pound gorilla" had been thrown off my back -  those thoughts no longer held me back - I felt light and free - finally able to recognize, acknowledge and clearly see where I was heading! 

Trusting my gut, acknowledging I am enough and valuing my self worth shifted my journey from people pleaser to personal pleaser putting me on a road toward becoming everything I am meant to do and who I am meant to serve all lending a hand in creating "My Personal Legend"  People began to see my authentic self, an open book and vulnerable which allowed me to impact and influence clients view of themselves and their situation on a level deeper than I ever thought possible. All of this resulted in positive change and a shift in their path toward becoming their best selves.  

Still today, Completely trusting myself often feels like an out of body experience.  It is something I must keep top of mind - being conscious of every single day so not to fall back into old habits. 

Trust and vulnerability are key to raw and fully honest conversation between 2 people.  It is one thing to know someone well enough to trust them with your friendship and another to trust them to a depth of calm and non-judgmental space that allows one to feel safe with their most vulnerable thoughts and feelings.

This type of relationship takes time, courage, strength, patience and an unwavering ability to truly listen from a non-judgmental place to fully understand what is being said/seen.  

At the center of it all is your personal story.  Why? Because by embracing every stage of your journey, you get to lean into your authentic self, giving others the courage to do the same!  It is a delicate balance of listening, learning and letting go of what no longer serves you while leaning in and learning to trust your inner voice! 

Feeling inspired to share your story or perhaps embark on your very own journey2bloom, with me as your guide, please DM me at LinkedIn or FB, or email me journey2bloom@gmail.com 

#courage2fail #findingyourvoice #learningdifferences #inspireresilience #journey2bloom #parentsandprofessionals #mentorcoaching #wordsmatter #empoweringparents #neurodiversity #leadership 

Wonderment Wednesday turned to Thankful Thursday for inspiration

Wonderment Wednesday turned to Thankful Thursday for inspiration as I processed all the varying thoughts on the power of No and power of Choice.  7 years ago, I wrote "Our entire life - consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are" and all these years later I finally realize that often means knowing when to say No more, even if others don't get the decision! 

In light of Simone's courageous decision and all the opinions from the world around - albeit many who have never played a sport or have any clue the mental toll gymnastics takes on a person - I once again ask: ~Why is the hardest battle within me - the split in the road - b/w what I know in my head & what I feel in my heart? ~  And now let me add, who are you to judge another person battling this question when you have never walked a day in their shoes?

I don't often speak of my time as an Elite Level gymnast/2-time US Jr National Team member, being the first person ever to successfully compete a full-in back out of the uneven bars back in the mid 80's (before it was in the code of books) nor missing my chance of competing it internationally so that it could be named after me.  Tokyo is where I had hoped to make that dream a reality, yet a fall on bars led to me doing a double back dismount instead because it was the safer choice at that time.  Still Japan holds a special place in my heart b/c I had the honor of representing the USA there in 1985. It was my best international competition ~ Silver and Bronze hardware ~ to remember it always.  Central to my success in Japan was this - I was 100% physically and mentally prepared for the event - I believed in myself and knew I was "peaking".  I just needed to trust myself.  In thinking back on that time, I threw a vault that I had only trained into a pit, prior to going to this meet.  And guess what, I nailed it!  

Oh, and by the way, when I got back to the states and tried to do it in the gym, I failed at it over and over and over before I got it back, simply because my mindset was not where it was when I was at that competition.  I say all of this to shed some light on the ups and downs of the sport. During a mental downtime, while doing that vault, I landed with my hand flipped the wrong way and ended up with tendon and ligament damage that kept me out of U.S. Championships that year. Eventually injuries kept me from '88 Olympic Trials as well and I was left wondering who I was because over the years as I trained, my identity had become "gymnast".

Most humans will never understand the complexity of Elite level Gymnasts nor the expectation to compartmentalize pain and just push through it - making us some of the toughest most resilient athletes in the world and yes, affording us the tools to take inspired action that creates the changes necessary to become our true authentic self - regardless of if our choices are "accepted" by the mainstream.  Gymnasts are human, and just as a rubber band is super strong and resilient, when you pull on it too many times, it does snap!  

I suspect Simone's heart said do it & her head said, you are not in the right mindset - going out there could create a catastrophic injury. I know what it feels like to have the "joy of the sport disappear" and the limitations that puts on your mental toughness to keep going.  

When prime time Olympic coverage switched to Women's team finals and the camera turned to Simone all I could see what that the sparkle in her eye and the smile that could light up the room was nowhere in sight.  I wondered what was going on to make her look so distraught and then the vault happened. 

When she made her decision, my heart broke for her & yet my mind said thank goodness.  Everyone has their "breaking point" - and while many "critics" think she should have known ahead of time. Reality is, sometimes you DON'T see it coming - instead it just knocks you down and leaves you in a place you never found yourself before.  

During my time as an Elite, anxiety and lack of self-confidence was always front & center for me. I didn't know that's what it was at the time and quite frankly no one would have given me the space to "figure it out" without judgement or telling me be tough and just do it. 

By 5th grade I was leaving school early and training many grueling (30+) hours/week in the gym - and by 6th grade, traveling country and the world competing, with the goal/dream of becoming an Olympian - only to get injured less than a year before '88 Olympic trials. It took me years to trust my heart, let go of those who were "judging me".  I continued feeling stuck, anxious & lost, not having the courage or words to ask for help, as I sorted through the mess.  

Looking back on my career, almost every fall I had was b/c my mindset wasn't where it needed to be - I didn't believe in myself - I was afraid, hesitant etc. Those were the most dangerous times for me to train/compete. Why, b/c while gymnastics requires tremendous strength & endurance which is built upon during practices, when it comes down to competition days, it is 90% mental. We were conditioned to push through any pain, no matter how bad, in pursuit of medals. Although everyone's journey is different, I have no doubt, this took a mental toll on each & every person.

I am incredibly proud of @Simone Biles for doing what was best for her, to keep her safe AND give the USA women's gymnasts the best chance at winning a medal in team event. I am in awe of Simone's courage to get back on the arena floor and stand by her teammates, encouraging & guiding them.  On the flip side I am disgusted by those who chose to call her a coward. She is still the team captain & what happened doesn't take away from the impact she has had on the world of gymnastics & young athletes everywhere. 

She worked her entire life for this & making the decision to step away & let the others do what she knew they were capable of takes courage, strength & selflessness. I stand by what she did & believe with my whole heart that her actions will have an incredibly long-lasting impact /influence on the importance of striking a balance between strong mental AND physical health in order to fully bloom in the world of Elite Level sports! This balance of strong mental AND physical health must be talked about and worked on in corporate America, education and parenting as well.  Embracing mental health support as a positive and real need leads to a well-rounded person - healthy mind, healthy body and soul. It is the next stepping stone to many of us feeling comfortable in our own skin and truly becoming our authentic self.

When it comes to learning - is it best to Tell, Teach or Train others?

A few weeks ago I posted a poll on LinkedIn asking, "When learning about a topic, which option offers you the best opportunity to retain the information and apply it going forward?"  

The options: 

~ Having someone Tell you

~ Having someone Teach you

~ Having someone Train you

The results: 

~ (0) Having someone Tell you

~ (2) Having someone Teach you

~ (8) Having someone Train you

While the results were not of great surprise, it did get my wheels turning.  Mostly wondering how many people believe they train others vs. Teach or Tell when it comes to learning about a topic. 

Self awareness is something that many don't have when it comes to how they engage others and the lack of that 1 thing can turn a great collaborative and engaging environment into a combative/toxic one that leads to lack of progress and increased animosity.

Let's take a look at the definitions for each of the 3 words along with other words that are similar as determined by a dictionary(well in this case google search :) 

~Tell: communicate information, facts, or news to someone in spoken or written words. 

When you Tell - You Inform or Notify

~Teach: show or explain to (someone) how to do something. 

When you Teach - You Educate, Coach, Instruct (even Train)

~Train: teach a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.

When you Train - You Instruct, Teach, Coach and Educate

 

In my 20+ years engaging with others in a position of power, I have seen an overwhelming number of senior leaders in organizations and  administrators in schools Tell vs. Teach or Train, and the outcomes are often underwhelming. The audience walks away upset, confused, frustrated, perhaps it was wasted time, not listened to and/or overall defeated. 

I wasn't too surprised by the results since most professionals I have trained, educators I have partnered with and parents I have supported, learn through a blended approach. The same goes for myself and my kids. 

Lack of understanding/importance of a blended approach may stem from: 

~absence of emotional intelligence

~lack of self awareness and impact on others

~choosing not to believe the feedback given is accurate

~The person was never trained on the "how to" nor the "WIFM'"

Whatever the reason, hands down, Train won the most votes and - as shown above - when you train you simultaneously thread Tell and Teach into the conversation.  Those who go through "train the trainer" programs learn how to blend this combination to elicit the most from each of the audience members.   I suspect those with high emotional intelligence and self awareness do it inadvertently, because it just feels right.  

While there is a time and place to Tell others about a specific topic, in almost all situations, I find that when you take the opportunity to train - engaging, collaborating, summarizing and checking for understanding, retention and application of information is more consistently sustained.  

After all, isn't learning more fun when you get to engage and collaborate with others? 

#couragetofail #findingyourvoice #learningdifferences #inspireresilience #journey2bloom #parenting  #mentorcoaching #wordsmatter #diversity #neurodiverse #leadership #tellteachtrain #transformation

The Courage to Fail.....Go ahead and try it!

 The Courage to fail leads to.......

- permission and willingness to make mistakes

- being ok not having all the answers

- seeking help when you need it

- speaking up when something isn't working

- sharing ideas in a meeting

- letting go of the outcome

- stopping yourself from worrying about how others may respond

- trusting yourself

By having the Courage to fail, you learn....

- It is ok to make mistakes

- How to accept help from others

- Being vulnerable is a sign of strength

What if - Having the courage to fail gives others an opportunity to help you help yourself by listening, offering support and encouragement to keep going!

Go ahead try it! I promise you will learn something!

#couragetofail #findingyourvoice #learningdifferences #inspireresilience #journey2bloom #parenting #advoacy #mentorcoaching #wordsmatter