Treasure-Trove Tuesday -> Selfish and Selfless – the delicate balance

Ever feel like you give and give and get nothing in return for your kindness, your selflessness?  It’s one of those things that slowly drains the energy out of you. It creeps up on you like a toddler who tiptoes into your room and then stands next to your bed, staring, until you open your eyes!  

Took me 40+ years to recognize, in order to do selfless acts and truly feel good about them, you also need to be a bit selfish at times.  Not selfish in a rude/unempathetic way, Selfish in a way that gives you the space to take care of yourself before taking care of others. 

Throughout the last 10+ years I have helped numerous parents and professionals reflect on habits and behaviors that impact or impede their ability to show up as their best self, open to receiving, willing to engage and collaborate when other’s thoughts/opinions don’t match what is in their minds.  Whether in the board room with executives or a school room with teachers and administration, everyone comes with their own agenda – expectations of how something will play out – and then when it doesn’t work in one’s favor, tempers flare, frustration occurs and no one wins.  

I have come to realize:  

~ Learning to balance selflessness with selfishness is an art. 

~ Learning to stay calm through adversity is an art.

~ The ability to truly understand one’s perspective, allowing yourself to “see” their perspective is an art. 

~ Being able to pull out what is most important and ask for more information is an art. 

There is a fine line between Selflessness and being a door mat. There is also a fine line between Selfishness and being self-absorbed. The former in small doses is essential for healthy self and relationships yet the latter can be detrimental to one’s relationships.

At the center of it all is self-awareness, patience, empathy, emotional intelligence AND a willingness to be good to yourself so that you can be good to others. There is a sense of calm necessary to accomplish this delicate balance.

 

#journey2bloom #courage2fail #selfcarematters #inspireresilience #treasuretrovetuesday #selfishandselfless #neurodiversity #parentsandprofessionals