Relationships Matter

I was reminded of just how much relationships matter on Friday when I received a text from a neighbor, friend and mother of a child who has been proactively seeking answers for her son's speech delays. All it said was, "I left you a little something on your front porch".  I read the text and continued on with my day - a day like many others this school year - one that included a few bouts of tears by my 10 year old son whom is completely overwhelmed by virtual learning.  Fast forward 7+ hours into my day - having come up for air - I went outside to see what what was on my front porch. Truth be told, I assumed it was something for my younger son as our kids are friends and it is almost Halloween after all. Much to my surprise it was a gift and a card for me.  The gift was nice and yet it's the words in the card that really touched my heart and reconnected me to what matters most -> relationships.  The card started with the words, "Got approved for Speech Services!"  She went onto write that she couldn't have gotten to this point without my help and advice and families who work with me are very lucky.  

Ironically, I believe I am the lucky one because I get to help parents find their voice and put together the puzzle pieces so every child's life I touch, has a better chance of reaching their true potential.  Doing so, happens to include providing support, tools and guidance to parents and caregivers on the pathway to getting children the services they are entitled to receive based on their specific learning differences, development delay or other health impairment. 

Had it not been for the relationship we built over time, the trust that came with it and the opportunities to engage in meaningful conversation - offering emotional support and guidance along the way- she likely would have given up on her quest to get her son to assessed for SPL services - an assessment she initially requested well over a year ago and one that recently resulted in her son getting approved for services.  

I recognize that relationships come in many different forms - perhaps simply a connection, an association, a link, a correlation, a correspondence, a parallel path, an alliance, an interrelation, or interconnection through a random common connector.  Perhaps you felt listened to, heard, comfortable, able to engage, interacted easily and encouraged to keep going.  Maybe you felt ignored, discouraged and defeated.  This could have been the first of many or the one and only interaction. You may have been getting to know one another for the first time, or catching up for the first time in years.  The topic may have been of a personal or professional nature.  You may or may not have left feeling as though it was an enjoyable conversation or that is was time well spent. My point is, whether you met someone in passing or spend hours with a person, at the end of the day, the lasting impression comes from how you made each other feel. 

My Journey2Bloom provides a platform that allows me to continue connecting and bringing together a community of individuals. Through this platform, I get to support, guide and lead others to clarity, answers and solutions as each begins to find their voice, while forming new relationships and rekindling others with whom I have lost touch over the years.  We all get to learn and grow.  It is important to remember out of site doesn't mean out of mind.  Why? Because most, not all, want to connect with others and help one another. Just because you haven't talked to someone for what feels like forever, doesn't mean they haven't thought of you, would like to hear from you or perhaps even be in a position to help you if you just reached out.  This is not to say, just call someone and say, "hi I need your help!"  It is to say, relationships continue to be relationships and often stand the test of time.  When you allow yourself to let go of the "what if" and replace it with "why not", doors begin to open and bonds are formed that allow you to know you are no alone and remind you just how much relationships matter.

A kind and gentle reminder - my mission is to lay the groundwork for a path of collaboration, open communication and vulnerability that allows everyone to speak and share their truth, concerns and valuable insights, creating cohesive partnerships and a roadmap that truly benefits the child.  This could be a young child, a young adult or an adult learner.  

If this resonates with you or makes you think of someone you know, please reach out to see how I may be able to support you on your very own #journey2bloom. journey2bloom@gmail.com 

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

#journey2bloom #inspireresilience #ittakesavillage #movingmountains #wordsmatter #advocacy #parenting #findingyourvoice

Calm Courage Brings Together A Path Forward

Despite learning differences, I believe every child deserves to live their best life and every parent, caregiver and educator that comes in contact with that child is an integral part of that journey.

Through conversations with parents and educators I found many people don't know how to communicate effectively with one another - teachers, counselors, administration and others in a position of influence are at odds or lost in how to pave a path forward - A path to help them collaboratively figure out why a child is struggling with learning in school and what to do to put the child on a path toward progress. This problem was alive in brick-and-mortar and with the COVID-19 pandemic flipping education on its head, the virtual learning world brings an entirely new set of issues, struggles and concerns.

Parents and children alike are lost, confused, frustrated yet instead of leaning in and speaking up - many choose to suffer in silence - feeling lost, hopeless and confused while others reach out to a teacher for help. When asked what is going on some don't know what to say so nothing changes and others show up to IEP, ASDM and 504 meetings saying little to nothing which results in decisions being made for them and their child.  My mission is to lay the groundwork for a path of collaboration, open communication and vulnerability that allows everyone to speak and share their truth, concerns and valuable insights, creating cohesive partnerships and a roadmap that truly benefits the child. Having calm courage to do so, brings together a path forward.  

Teachers, educators and administrators are also frustrated. Trying their best, trialing ways to teach, engage and guide students forward in the unchartered waters of virtual learning. It is important to remember that they too are parents and caregivers, doing their best to figure it out as they go.

Communication, collaboration, openness to receiving and listening to concerns, questions and recommendations is key to forward progress.

There is no one right answer or way of helping one another, however there is a very clear wrong way! Showing up combative, defensive and feeling entitled to something is the wrong way to go about getting help, building relationships and moving the bar forward for the betterment of your child's education, social and emotional well-being. I am grateful to those who choose to let me into their journey, and allow me to help them help themselves in finding their voice.  

By creating a platform to pull together parents and caregivers from across the country, I get to connect people, share learnings and collaborate on how to use one's voice to help children thrive in school and ultimately in life. Together we can achieve more than we ever could alone. I may not be able to change the lives of all parents and their children, however changing the life for one family will eventually change the lives for many.  Finding my calm confidence created an avenue to find my calm courage and has led to creating this path forward for others wanting to find their voice and take an active role in the transformation of their journey with a child who has learning differences. 

Helping others help themselves by seeking to understand what is important is who I am at the core.  It is imperative that the topics I write and speak about - resonate with at least one other person - otherwise it is not a topic worth writing about.  If you or someone you know would like to read about a specific topic or learn more about my own #journey2bloom, don't hesitate to let me know.  

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

Choices Define Us

If we allow a medical diagnosis or disability to define a child, we have lost before we even get off the starting block. That pretty much sums up the foundation in which I began my journey2bloom.  This statement continues to ring true for my 1^st born son’s learning differences and keeps me grounded in what is important as I navigate our 2nd son's unique learning differences. In both situations, had I let their diagnosis lead me, neither would be where they are today.

Over the years I spent a lot of time writing about my almost 14 year old - sort of makes sense - since I spent 2.5 of his first 4 years of life navigating these unchartered waters, asking questions, sometimes getting answers, sometimes a run around, sometimes the evil eye and eventually finding experts that helped me navigate the path forward.  He wasn't hitting milestone's as a "typically" developing child should and as first-time parents we shared our concerns with our wonderful pediatrician.  She gave us literature that introduced us to what early intervention services was all about and gave us hope.

Aligning with those that knew more than me to figure out what was holding him back from developing, socializing, learning etc. was the best first decision I made on this journey2bloom. If I had listened to what some other experts, family and even strangers had told me I should or shouldn’t do to help us help him, I would be telling a very different story and our paths may never have crossed.  Thankfully my intuition, resilience and perhaps “stubbornness - don’t tell me my child can’t have the best of everything offered to him thinking” helped me stay grounded in good intentions and afforded me the strength and courage to continue navigating one way streets, dead ends and even u-turns that ultimately led to my village of advocates, incredible support team and foundation centered around the well-being of our children always being front and center. 

Defined by the choice to take the road less traveled led me start a blog about early intervention aka our journey2bloom. The decision - almost 10 years ago - to not take the words and guidance of a psychiatrist as "fact" and instead embark on a journey of seeking to understand what triggered my oldest son to exude behavior aligned with her findings, set me on a path that would become my purpose and passion. Fast forward to 2012, we now have 2 boys. By age 3, our oldest was entrenched in social skills classes, ABA Therapy, Speech and any other early intervention services we could find that would help put the pieces together. Our, youngest, the one we would call little sunshine was just starting to show signs of delays. Our happy go lucky, silly 2 year old who was always smiling, appropriately playing, interacting with others - essentially hitting every milestone up to that point - began showing signs of slowing progress. When the delays began to surface, I thought how could this be happening again? How could our kids be dealt hands that would make an already difficult world more difficult? I wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out and yet others kept telling me, "you only get what you can handle" followed by "you are one of the strongest people I know" I wasn't feeling strong, nor secure, nor able to wrap my head around what was about to take hold as the next phase in our journey2bloom.

For sake of this post, I will share some "highlights" and reserve the right to delve deeper into each of the subgroups at some point over the next several months to a year.

Our younger son's first early intervention experience was through infants and toddlers for Speech - during which time the SPL (Speech and Language Pathologist) observed what appeared to be a delay in fine motor skills and recommended he be assessed for OT (occupational therapy). Over the next 8 years, after speech, OT, Physical Therapy, Adaptive PE, and starting off kindergarten with an IEP classified as DD (Developmental Delay) because no one could quite figure out why he had so many delays nor where his learning differences were coming from the pieces of the puzzle finally began coming into focus. There were more questions than answers and varying diagnosis along the way. 

While we were surrounded by those who had become partners in conversation and advocates throughout the years of working together for our older son, there were also some educators who "took short cuts". Subsequently our younger son suffered because he wasn't provided full access to the curriculum needed for him to learn at the best of his ability during the pre-school, pre-k and early years of elementary school. We continue to fill in the early learning gaps impacted by those choices. 

This is where the choices we make define us statement comes back into play. Being an empath, something felt off to me for quite some time, but I couldn't put my finger on it nor when I asked questions, was I getting any straight answers about what I was questioning. During the early years with our youngest son, instead of answers I was told, "he is doing fine, doing well". Finally, small things began to surface that gave me a glimpse into what I had been feeling. Small things - such as - being sent home a paper with a smiley face when our son was telling us he was crying in school that day.   After choosing to gain more intimate knowledge of how advocacy and the school system intertwined, learning more about special education law when it came to the rights I had as a parent to continue requesting specific data until it was shared, I finally started getting somewhere with my younger son.  Asking for documented examples of progress this specific special educator stated our son was making on the IEP goals led to uncovering gaps in learning, missing documentation and inaccurate goal setting.  The journey gets more complicated as time goes on. ADHD, Anxiety and Absence Seizures, coupled with a fairly unique neuro-psych profile all play a role in his learning differences. I will pause here for today....more to come.

In part due to the above experiences I am now certain that when parents truly know their rights, and how to use their voice, kids thrive.  My hope is to serve the parents and caregivers by offering a forum to collaborate and learn how to use their voice to help their kids. Through conversations with parents, and even educators, I have found there are many people who don't know what they don't know about how to be an active part of the IEP or 504 team and so, instead, they sit in meetings and let the decisions be made for them and their child. I am on a focused mission is to change that so everyone moves forward together for the sake of the child.  If you or someone you know would like to come along on this journey, please reach out!  Journey2bloom@gmail.com

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

 

 

Vulnerability Opens Doors

Vulnerability opens doors to receiving, provides a pathway to transformation, a starting point to find your voice and ultimately leads to internal trust, belief and a better way of life.  This is the foundation upon which our journey2bloom has been built.

After going live with my last blog post, a side conversation took place between myself and the very first person who truly saw the best in our son, welcomed us in with open arms and became the first member of my tribe which has become a village of advocates.  As I reflected on the conversation, I felt obligated to turn it into my next blog post for those who weren’t privy to the discussion.  Here are the highlights…

This person, Andrea, took my hand, opened her heart and showed me what it meant to be an advocate, to lean in and lift someone up when they can't do it for themselves, to hold the vision of what was possible even when some bystanders choose to judge you for seeking help and others choose to turn a blind eye or walk away and give up.

She took our son into her 3's classroom even after he "shattered a playhouse into hundreds of pieces" and then brought him back into her 3's classroom as a peer when his 4's classroom teachers "thought he was a behavior" problem. Not only did he shine in her class, he became a role model for the younger children.  I am forever grateful for the unconditional love this person showed me and my son(s). She helped me create my tribe of “SME’s” that became my village of advocates, helping me find my voice and teaching me how to be the advocate I am today.  I hope to be half as impactful on others journey as this person has been on mine. 

During our side conversation, she stated that “every child is special and unique in their own way and should never be cast aside for any reason.  My son captured her heart that first moment, from flying castles to Lightening McQueen.” She took the challenges set before her and allowed us in - we allowed one another in – working in tandem to help him thrive and grow.  She will always have a special place in our hearts and she will forever be a part of our journey2bloom.  

When you or someone you know is ready to allow me entry into the journey, I will be here with an unconditionally open mind, open heart and ready to help guide you forward.

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite

Learn to Appreciate and Trust Yourself

Lean into your perfect imperfections and allow it to lead you to places you never dreamt possible!  When you begin to appreciate and trust your true self, you begin to love that true self and from there the doors open because you are ready to receive what the universe has in store for you!  

10 years after I began my journey2bloom and two years after creating my LLC, I finally launched my website journey2bloom. As I took time to reflect on this journey, celebrate the gratitude I have for every single person in my village - the tribe that helped me along the way - thought about why it took me so long to make it "official". The honest truth - I was afraid I wouldn't live up to the person everyone in this village thinks of me to be through their eyes. I was yet to see myself half the way that others saw me.

In short - I wasn't ready to trust myself enough to share my experiences with the world and allow my journey to truly become another person’s survival guide. Going live with the website, solidified that I had finally learned to appreciate and trust myself enough to allow others to trust me with their most intimate of fears, insecurities, and circumstances as it relates to something so personal, their children!

Looking back, I recognize that by not sharing the ups and downs and lessons learned on this road less traveled I was denying others the opportunity to know they are NOT ALONE. I came to my senses by realizing my vulnerabilities could give others the strength and resilience to continue advocating for their child. I mean helping one person may not change the world, yet it could very well change the world for one person. So, from here forward I vow to worry less and take inspired action more because I would rather go forward helping one person than stand still and help no one. I suppose you could say that learning to appreciate and trust myself is leading to inspired action.

I spent the better part of my life helping others help themselves and forgetting to help myself in the process. I doubled down on this after becoming a mom and made it my mission to ensure my kids were provided with all of the opportunity afforded to them as innocent children in a world filled with unconscious bias, judgement and unnecessary pressure to "be normal" and fit in. I know all too well what it's like to be told your child won't ever go to a normal school or that your child is a kid with so many issues that the teacher doesn't want them in their classroom because they don't know how to work with him. I know what it feels like to be lost and like you are the only one in the world dealing with these issues and there are no answers to be given because there is nothing that can "fix" or help the situation you are living. I know what it feels like to have others conclude something about your child's behavior without any facts or data to back up the accusations. I know how it feels to not get answers and feel lost in verbiage and acronyms that make no sense, feeling like there is no way to help your child and yet no way out of maze you are trying to navigate.

I also know how it feels to have someone step up to the plate and go to bat for your child, telling you how special they are and that they see how hard you are working to give them the best life possible. I know how it feels to actually witness the difference in your child's behavior and progress based on who is working with him and the attitude in which they choose to take toward your child no matter how he behaves. I have seen first-hand the different actions and reactions that drove to meltdowns or led to breakthroughs. Ultimately, I have lived a nightmare and didn't let it break me - instead I used it to fuel my desire to inspire resilience and in turn it propelled me into this journey2bloom.

Ultimately, I know how it feels to be supported by SME's who are unconditionally invested in helping you help your child no matter the cost. When I recognized it was time to advocate for my second son, the first people I called were those who had been there for me the first time around - my village - my tribe. They once again lifted me up and inspired resilience in me when I thought I had no fuel left in the tank.  Through their unwavering support I found energy, I found hope and I found my voice to forge on in the quest - this time to give my second son the same opportunity as my first. There is so much to cover, and yet today, I will share the things I wish I knew sooner:

• It doesn't make me weak to ask for help
• I don't have to change myself for other people
• It is utterly impossible to please everyone
• It is ok to cut off friends that haven't earned a spot in my life
• I am harder on myself than I need to be
• My worth isn't found in the opinion of others

I wish I had known all of the above so many years ago and yet I didn't. What I do know is that it is never too late to recognize that all of these statements are true. Allowing myself to let go of the guilt I felt for the years wasted not knowing these to be true and shifting my focus to celebrate what I know as fact now were key influencers in my decision to finally launch my website. This is significant for many reasons, most importantly because starting today I get to do what I love and help others in return. Every decision we make begins with a choice. I choose to focus on what I can control allowing me to step into a role that fully aligns with my purpose and passion - creating an environment for parents to find their voice and opportunities for the type relationships I had the privilege of creating to bloom.

For those that read this, thank you! For those who know someone who may benefit from reading this, please share! Paying it forward is so important because going through this journey is More Than Any One Person Can Handle Alone!

#journey2bloom

#inspireresilience

#ittakesavillage

#movingmountains

Find out more about how I can help here -> https://journey2bloom.wixsite.com/mysite