Daily Forecast: Somewhere Between Sunny, Super Goofy and a Category 4 Hurricane

The daily forecast Somewhere Between Sunny, Super Goofy and a Category 4 Hurricane, fits with the diagnosis which helps us understand some of the behaviors, however that doesn't mean things will get easier, in fact now is when the really challenging work begins.  Why? In part because there is still so much we don't understand about ADHD in general let alone how to best help our youngest deal with it.  You may be asking yourself how that is possible given all the years we spent figuring out how to help our oldest with his ASD, SPD diagnosis and I am humble enough to tell you that I asked myself that very same question. How is it possible that I don't have the tools to guide, support and help my youngest work through the confusion in his mind?  

While outwardly there are many similar behaviors exhibited, what is triggering them is quite different.  You see when someone is high functioning on the spectrum ABA services are key in "retraining" the child's brain by removing the scratches from a CD Rom and replacing them with tools necessary to function "like a typical" child both socially and emotionally.  Now reality is that the social and emotional differences between someone on the spectrum and a "typically developing" child will never be the same. It is true that with the right amount early intervention many people may never know what life was like before the behaviors were "retrained" from what once overpowered and overwhelmed this child.  What is also true is that many people will look at you cross-eyed when you say your child can't stand in long lines, has trouble when plans change or can't calm themselves down without you hugging them so hard you think you may break some bones.  Unless you are in it you really can't comprehend it.  You can certainly empathize with or ignore the behaviors BUT Please DO NOT judge them for it.  The forecast for our oldest was once the same as this post title and has since moved to Mostly Sunny with a chance of sarcasm and an occasional tornado.  This kid, whose meltdowns would last upwards of 3 hours on any given day is now an overachieving straight A student with a sassy personality, great smile and a heart of gold. 

On the flip side - ADHD is like trying to remove scratches from a record so that when you put the needle on the track the music doesn't skip. Those of you old enough to know what a record is know that it is pretty much impossible to remove scratches from a record.  This my readers is why all of the tools, tricks and tips I received from my "village and dream team" over the years wasn't working as we tried to guide my little one back to the "middle"(a state of calmness).  The title of this post (Daily Forecast: somewhere between Sunny, Super Goofy and a Category 4 Hurricane) seemingly sums up what it is like living with our youngest son. Since we are an all or nothing type of family, it is not shocking to me that he has all 3 possible components (inattention, hyperactivity and Impulsivity).  As hard as it is for us, it must be that much harder for him.  It breaks my heart to think about what it is like to be in his own head with all his overlapping thoughts, inability to focus or think before he reacts or struggles to retain and recall information he just heard but didn’t really listen. At the same time, he is inquisitive, creative, always wanting to entertain, sometimes sneaky and always adorable.  

About a month ago he came up with the idea that every night before he goes to sleep we recite our happy thought for the day which I love.  Now I am sure it began as a way to "avoid" going to sleep yet I love it none the less.  One night a few days ago, he began asking me questions on a specific topic. After asking me his 10th question, something I had answered many times before, I reminded him that we already talked about it and kindly stated the answer. This isn’t something new for him (asking questions over and over) but what came next was different.  He looked at me, put his hand over his eyes and mouth, shook his head and said mommy why do I have so many questions?  It was as though something in his little mind realized it wasn't normal to ask so many questions over and over and over.  For a moment, I was joyful that he could realize this for himself, but that joy quickly turned to sadness and concern for all he must be going through internally that he can't articulate or control. 

We know that ADHD is a brain disorder that interferes with functioning or development, yet the million-dollar question remains: So where do we go from here to best help him?  For now, we continue to work with the IEP team, the teachers, support staff and psychologist to figure out the best protocol for our son. 

If you or anyone you know has a child struggling with ADHD, I would love to hear about your particular situation, what you tried and what worked and/or didn't work.