Treasure-Trove Tuesday -> Selfish and Selfless – the delicate balance

Ever feel like you give and give and get nothing in return for your kindness, your selflessness?  It’s one of those things that slowly drains the energy out of you. It creeps up on you like a toddler who tiptoes into your room and then stands next to your bed, staring, until you open your eyes!  

Took me 40+ years to recognize, in order to do selfless acts and truly feel good about them, you also need to be a bit selfish at times.  Not selfish in a rude/unempathetic way, Selfish in a way that gives you the space to take care of yourself before taking care of others. 

Throughout the last 10+ years I have helped numerous parents and professionals reflect on habits and behaviors that impact or impede their ability to show up as their best self, open to receiving, willing to engage and collaborate when other’s thoughts/opinions don’t match what is in their minds.  Whether in the board room with executives or a school room with teachers and administration, everyone comes with their own agenda – expectations of how something will play out – and then when it doesn’t work in one’s favor, tempers flare, frustration occurs and no one wins.  

I have come to realize:  

~ Learning to balance selflessness with selfishness is an art. 

~ Learning to stay calm through adversity is an art.

~ The ability to truly understand one’s perspective, allowing yourself to “see” their perspective is an art. 

~ Being able to pull out what is most important and ask for more information is an art. 

There is a fine line between Selflessness and being a door mat. There is also a fine line between Selfishness and being self-absorbed. The former in small doses is essential for healthy self and relationships yet the latter can be detrimental to one’s relationships.

At the center of it all is self-awareness, patience, empathy, emotional intelligence AND a willingness to be good to yourself so that you can be good to others. There is a sense of calm necessary to accomplish this delicate balance.

 

#journey2bloom #courage2fail #selfcarematters #inspireresilience #treasuretrovetuesday #selfishandselfless #neurodiversity #parentsandprofessionals

Treasure-Trove Tuesday and Wonderment Wednesday Combo - embracing self worth and valuing your internal thoughts

     I spent most of my life seeking validation, outside gratification and approval to make myself feel "good".  I thought I needed validation from others in order to trust myself and boy is that exhausting!

About 2 years ago mindfulness and visualization became an integral part of my daily routine and as I formed these new habits, I no longer needed to please others to feel good about myself, my value and my worth.  It felt like a "500 pound gorilla" had been thrown off my back -  those thoughts no longer held me back - I felt light and free - finally able to recognize, acknowledge and clearly see where I was heading! 

Trusting my gut, acknowledging I am enough and valuing my self worth shifted my journey from people pleaser to personal pleaser putting me on a road toward becoming everything I am meant to do and who I am meant to serve all lending a hand in creating "My Personal Legend"  People began to see my authentic self, an open book and vulnerable which allowed me to impact and influence clients view of themselves and their situation on a level deeper than I ever thought possible. All of this resulted in positive change and a shift in their path toward becoming their best selves.  

Still today, Completely trusting myself often feels like an out of body experience.  It is something I must keep top of mind - being conscious of every single day so not to fall back into old habits. 

Trust and vulnerability are key to raw and fully honest conversation between 2 people.  It is one thing to know someone well enough to trust them with your friendship and another to trust them to a depth of calm and non-judgmental space that allows one to feel safe with their most vulnerable thoughts and feelings.

This type of relationship takes time, courage, strength, patience and an unwavering ability to truly listen from a non-judgmental place to fully understand what is being said/seen.  

At the center of it all is your personal story.  Why? Because by embracing every stage of your journey, you get to lean into your authentic self, giving others the courage to do the same!  It is a delicate balance of listening, learning and letting go of what no longer serves you while leaning in and learning to trust your inner voice! 

Feeling inspired to share your story or perhaps embark on your very own journey2bloom, with me as your guide, please DM me at LinkedIn or FB, or email me journey2bloom@gmail.com 

#courage2fail #findingyourvoice #learningdifferences #inspireresilience #journey2bloom #parentsandprofessionals #mentorcoaching #wordsmatter #empoweringparents #neurodiversity #leadership