Moving Mountains

As my 45th birthday approaches, I do as I have always done leading up to a milestone birthday. I reflect on what has transpired since the last milestone birthday, think about the successes, failures, things I would do differently etc. This year I find myself thinking mostly about my never ending journey to move mountains for my two boys in hopes of providing them with the best possible school experience(academic and socially) while focused on their mental and physical well-being.

In a curious moment, I searched Google for the meaning of moving mountains only to find everything from a hit song to a vacation home and even a marketing company which told me that moving mountains can mean whatever you or I perceive it to mean. For me, moving mountains is about conquering the unknown, overcoming the obstacles set in front of you, finding a way to go over it, through it, around it; whatever it takes to keep you on the path you were meant to take. I am not saying that we are predestined for all of the events in our lives to take place(my 10 year old would argue otherwise) just that we all have some sort of mountain to move; the outcome stemming from how one decides to go about it. Some will sit and stare at the mountain, wallowing in their sorrows along with a whoa is me attitude, some will try and chisel their way through the mountain one hit at a time, some may avoid it all together and run away from what stands in their way, some may look for a way around it or over it and maybe just maybe some will let down their guard and be vulnerable enough to ask for help.

This simple 4 letter word - HELP - is hard for so many people to say yet it is exactly how I began the journey toward successfully moving my first mountain. I feel it is important to note that for most of my life, the word HELP was not part of my vocabulary. I am not sure if I was too stubborn or too proud to ask or if I just thought I could figure it out on my own. Regardless of what stopped me from asking, my children gave me the courage, strength and desire to put up the white flag and ask for help. What began as my very own little dream team of special educators, support services, psychologists and behavioralists 9 years ago has turned into an ever growing support system that could populate a small village.

Over the last 5 years I found myself saying I am a "tiger mom" yet after reading the "definition" of Tiger mom, I have come to realize that this term couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, I am a supportive mom Advocate who encourages my children to try new things, to fail at times because without failure we can't learn. I also tactfully partner and collaborate with the educators and subject matter experts at the school and otherwise. Why; because that trusted and mutually respectful partnership allows me to successfully fight and obtain the programs and accommodations needed for each of my boys to be successful. What makes me so sure this approach works? To start, both boys have received some type of services since they were under 3 years old. It continues to take a lot of research and persistence on my part to stay on top of the every changing needs of the boys as they learn, grow and change with each passing quarter. Once I am armed with the appropriate facts, I approach the powers that be and request a meeting. Those meetings, both formal and informal, have led to life long friendships and mentors for me, beautiful relationships for my boys and their educators/coaches and support staff as well as growth and success I never thought possible, especially for my soon to be 5th grader.

I am pretty sure I lost count of just how many mountains have been moved, demolished, shaved down, walked around, into and over. Even with all of the "wins" I know that I am far from being able to stand side by side with all of my fellow villagers at the peak of the mountain, hands clasped together and held high screaming the words WE DID IT! This may sound glass half empty to some of you, but the truth of the matter is, the journey of moving mountains for my boys may never end so I take each small win as it comes and use it as motivation to continue advocating for my boys knowing that the journey is far from complete.

I can only imagine what I would have told someone who asked me 10 or 15 years ago what I thought my life would be like today; one thing I am certain of is that it wasn't filled with conquering mountain range after mountain range for my kiddos as has become my reality. At the same time, the love I have for these boys is like nothing I have ever experienced and would never ask to change the events that led me to the family my husband and I have made together! These boys are our pride and joy, the happiest of times, the saddest of times and our proudest of times.

After an enjoyable evening of wine, cheese and conversation with a dear and trusted friend of mine she said, "It's your chance to do what you are inspired by…I know you can do it :)"

My children are what inspire me most and nothing would be more rewarding than paying it forward to those who weren't lucky enough to happen upon the people I did all those years ago, guiding me toward what has now become my "new normal".

Maybe, just maybe it is my destiny to help others understand that when you let your guard down and surround yourself with the right support team, arm yourself with the appropriate knowledge and are willing to gracefully fight for what you know in your gut is right, they too can move mountains.