Our Bath Time Journey

Reliving the last 3 years of bath time may not seem like a topic to blog about, yet in my case it could take up an entire chapter of a book. Since this is not a book, I will keep it as short as I can while taking you through our bath time journey; one that went from what felt like torture to finally come to enjoyment. Yes, it took almost 3 years to get there, but we got there. The journey that began with tears and fears has led to smiles and pure joy. When my oldest was less than 2 years old, giving him a bath was utter hell! The entire process took well over an hour. Many nights it took 15-30 minutes just to get him inside the bathroom let alone into the tub. Yes, I tried everything; even seeking outside guidance but until his little brain and body was ready to embrace bath time all we could do was work on giving him the tools to help him get there. You may be thinking to yourselves; this is nuts; she must have just not known what to do with him; how can you let your child control bath time like that……….and the comments go on and on. I am about to take you through my journey toward bath time enjoyment. My earliest memories of my oldest in the “big boy” bath consisted of him screaming bloody murder, grabbing onto the sides of the door frame with all his might, me fighting back tears that many times came streaming down my face and then once we finally got into the tub, he would do everything in his power to get out. He would scream, try to hit, scratch etc. and try to crawl over the tub. It didn’t matter what we did…a little water, a lot of water, bath toys, and bubbles….he still wanted out. After months of barely getting him into the tub he finally became comfortable enough to stand in the tub, just long enough for me to wash his hair and body off without screaming. As long as he was in and out in less than 1 minute we were ok. A few months after that I decided to see how he would react if I had him take a shower with me or my husband. What I found was that he seemed to really have fun in the shower with mom or dad. As long as the water was running down his little body from above he seemed quite content. So for the next 9 months our little guy showered with mom or dad. He was able to play in the shower with some water toys, paint on the walls, wash his body and his hair and go in and out with a smile on his face. Sometimes he would just keep saying more, more because he liked it so much. This was a far cry from how we started out with bath time. Trying to get him back in the tub was another story. After 2 summers of swim lessons; and at age 4 we decided to try the tub again. He seemed to have conquered his true fear of the water so we thought it was a good time to try again. While he was no longer grabbing the door frames and screaming bloody murder, he was still in no way, shape or form, enjoying his time in the tub like I remembered as a child. I would have to be dragged out of the tub at his age. Put me in there with some bubbles, crayons and water toys and I could play for hours. My youngest screams when we take him out of the bath because he just wants to stay in and play with his toys, splash and goof around with big brother. Not the oldest. This little guy did not feel that way about bath time at all. We eventually found a way to get him comfortable sitting in 2 inches of water for at least 5 minutes to get a good bath and even a moment or two of fun. We tried more water toys, paints etc and although he was tolerating what was going on, he could still do without it. Then one day, around 4.5, little by little he began to enjoy the tub more and more. I am not sure if it was because he saw his little brother getting bathed; sitting in an inch of water, splashing and laughing as we gave him a bath or if something inside him just calmed down enough to be ok with being in the water. Whatever the case; maybe swim lessons helped him realize that the water was his friend and not his enemy. He was like a fish in the pool and seemed to be at complete peace, in his element and completely relaxed. Unlike the anxiety filled episodes that took place for the last few years in that small little bathtub. Finally, his anxiety started to ease in the tub and mom and dad were able to get him a bath without wondering what sort of explosion was going to happen around it. For some reason, in his little mind, for a long time, water was really scary in that bath tub. Today, at 5 and a half we can’t get him out of the tub. He wants the water as high as he can get it; as hot as we will let him have it; as many water toys as we can fit; bubbles when they are available and even his little brother to share in the fun when he feels like company in the tub. Talk about a 180, yep that was my child. For those of you that follow my blog; after 2 years of stressful, crying nights for bath time, we realized that his sensory issues, anxiety and fear of the unknown were causing this little boy so much undue harm. As we uncovered the underlying issues, we were able to find ways to help him deal with these “disorders” and teach him how to “cope” and be comfortable in his own skin. Instead of giving up on him or ourselves; we worked with him and several professionals. All of the time and effort our family put in opened an entire new world for our son. A world filled with comfort, smiles, laughter, pure joy of life and a love of water.