I began today's post with a quote from Dr. Seuss: Those who follow my blog or read any posts from several years ago may have noticed other references to
Dr. Seuss - Why you may ask? - Because as silly and simple as his books may
seem to some, I am always able to find a deeper meaning within his words. His ability to capture the hearts of so many
people, young and old, is inspiring. He
has a way of bringing together so many different types of people, situations,
characters with his fun and corky writing.
So how does this have anything to do with today's Title - everything and
nothing! If he had not cared enough to
share his stories will all of us then I would never had learned the love of
reading these books with my
children. The memories of reading Green
Eggs and Ham, One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish and the ABC book will
always and forever bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart. I cherish those moments - so you see for me,
he cared enough to share his undercover truth and in turn allowed us to create treasured memories
with our children.
What's with the title undercover truth? Many times it takes a lot of persistence, trial and error and a lot of focused attention to figure out what the undercover truth is in relation to why a child is acting out, misbehaving, failing, floundering or anxious. For my family, its Anxiety, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Executive Functioning, Visual Processing Disorder and who knows what else that affect our every day life. One of these is enough to drain the energy out of the kiddo and put a parent, sibling, relative, teacher and/or caregiver on edge. Add in ones inability to put themselves in the child's shoes, truly understand what they might be going through and how outside actions and interactions impact the child's response to any given situation and you have a lot of emotions going around in circles with no positive end in sight. Now, step back and try to imagine a curve ball that was thrown at you during your younger years, or even adult years. How did you handle it? Most likely you were you able to problem solve your way through it or knew enough to look for answers or ask for help. Now imagine not having the tools to be able to do any of those things, and instead, your thoughts are jumbled together with no way to decipher what is right or wrong let alone the ability to get yourself through the issue at hand. Sounds exhausting and frustrating does't it?
It seems like not a day goes by without one of us feeling worried, nervous or uneasy about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Many times for me, it's comes from not knowing what may trigger worries, uncertainty or even anxiety in one or both of our boys. These moments often lead to difficult minutes or sometimes difficult hours trying to help one or both self-regulate.
No matter the trigger, Anxiety is all around us and within us. Whether or not one realizes, acknowledges, or admits that a reaction or behavior unfolding because of stress is then inadvertently accompanied by anxiety it is more than likely a component of these situations. As a result, the action or reaction that follows is often driven by emotion instead of objectivity, coupled with mistakes, ultimately ending in unexpected events.
We are all human- well most of us are :) - which means we all make mistakes - even when we choose to not admit them - Why? - Because regardless of what one believes no one is perfect. Also true, is that, some people choose to learn from what goes on around them and others choose to ignore it. It is not a matter of right and wrong, more a matter of seeking to understand how and why a situation ended in the way it did, what could have been done differently, really reflecting on and thinking about all components and deciding if you would have done it differently, provided the opportunity for a "do over".
I know from experience that emotions and inability to think clearly in the moment clouds one's judgement yet I strongly believe that pride nor loyalty should ever override ones integrity. Be true to you and your beliefs. Take the time to find the undercover truth so that you can work toward resolution and a better way of life for you and or your child. Figure out what is triggering the anxiety or other behaviors so that in time it becomes something you manage instead of something that manages you.
