The Wind Beneath My Wings

Today was quite an interesting one for me. It started out with a conversation at my son’s school. I think I approached the educator in an odd way, but the end result was quite positive. I ended up spending about 40 minutes talking with this person about my son’s IEP program. We discussed where he is thriving, struggling and what the plan is to get him ready for kindergarten. I found out that a lot of great things are happening for my son and also brought to light that there are still things that “need a lot of work” but are progressing quite well. I left school feeling like I was 100% on the same page with the “powers that be” at school and we are heading into the New Year with a great plan to keep things moving along in the right direction.

My next destination was a restaurant where I worked for several hours. Part way through my time here, a stranger came up and asked if she could share the table with me. It was now 12pm and the restaurant was quite crowded. There was not one table available and this stranger saw that I was working at a table alone, with space to spare. She had a service dog with her and kindly asked if she could sit down across from me so that she could eat her lunch. Of course, I immediately said yes. She kindly thanked me, sat down and commanded her service dog to lie down under the table. A few moments later the dog had her head on my foot and was looking up
at me. This stranger and I never exchanged names, only general conversation. She asked what I did for a living and then she went on to tell me about her service dog. The dog helps her b/c she is hearing impaired. This dog is supposed to help her hear the phone and other sounds that she may not be able to hear on her own. She went onto tell me that although the dog does not do the best job at what she was trained to do at times she loves her and can’t imagine not having her around.

What hit home the most for me from our entire conversation was that this dog has been in her life for 2 years and is someone she has grown to love, faults and all. Although this dog is not her son or daughter, she is clearly someone that this woman loves, depends on, counts on and knows will give her unconditional love no matter what. I could relate to this completely as I think about my kids and how much I love and depend on them to give me unconditional love no matter what. I know it is wishful thinking that this will continue for the rest of my life, yet as I sat back and thought about the last 5 years of my life, every moment of joy, pain, happiness and sorry has somehow revolved around one or both of my kids.

While driving to pick up my son from school, “The Wind Beneath My Wings” came on the radio. Out of nowhere, tears began to flow from my eyes as I hung on every word being sung by Bette Midler. As the song came through the car speakers I began to think through the years since I was married and then became a mother. Each memory led to another until I was connecting the words to my husband, children and the “village” of people that has rallied around me to help me ensure that my children get the very best life has to offer from a young age.

My oldest has taught me so much about life, love, challenges and how to “never give up” on what you believe to be right. My youngest on the other hand has given me a new meaning to the words “sunshine, love and mischief.” Both boys are teaching me how to be a little less serious all of the time, how to take the time to celebrate the little successes that may happen on any given day and how to appreciate what is right in front of my eyes. They have also helped me figure out when to stick with something, when to walk away for a while and when to just shut the door on a situation that is not fixable.

“You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them.” I heard this quote today and think that is going to be my new motto. This has been a common theme in my life since our first born turned 9 months old. This is not a story I care to discuss on my blog, it is one for another place and time. What I will say is that a lot of things, both good and bad have taken place over the years and I now truly understand that there is only so much one can control. My “I must be in control of my destiny” mindset that carried me through my 20’s and most of my 30’s, has slowly started to crumble due to the obstacles I have come up against over the last 7 years. I have come to fully understand why each time life throws an obstacle my way, I have to take it with a grain of salt, learn what I can from it and apply it to the next obstacle that comes along.

My kids, my husband, my “little sis” and the “village” of people who rally around me are truly the wind beneath my wings.

A Walk Worth Taking......

This last year has been a whirlwind for us. Ups, downs, highs, lows and at the end of the year we sat back and realized just how much growth and progress took place from age 4-5. Not only has he learned how to communicate better, he has learned to make better decisions, process what he has learned faster, try new things and laugh a lot more. 2 weeks before his 5th birthday he said, “When I turn 5 I am going to ride my bike and stop sucking my thumb. He also said he would stop doing one other thing but it hasn’t happened yet. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad  The fact that he had the ability to make those conscience decisions is a HUGE step forward for him. I couldn’t be more proud of my 5 yr old son!

It’s funny to me how many people are “non believers” in that there is a lot going on behind the scenes with our kiddo until they see it happening for themselves or read/hear about all of the early intervention we have done with him over the last 3 years. I have numerous acquaintances/friends that think other options would be better. Some even think that I should just let him be a kid and he will eventually figure it out. My response to them is this, “another option may be best for your child, but this is what is best for mine”. I will continue to fight for my son, advocate for my son and stand up for him for as long as it takes for him to do all of those things for himself. I believe that it is my parental right and duty to offer all that I can to my kids at a young age, so that they have a bright, happy and successful life in whatever they choose to do.

My son got a card from a “mentor/teacher” that worked very closely with him last year. The words he wrote moved me to tears. He said “he has never met another little boy as courageous as our son” He even let him know that the word Courageous means that no matter how hard or scary something is, that you always try and always believe in yourself. He said that he was proud of our son and believed in him. If it wasn’t for this person, our child would not be where he is today, interacting normally in society, without the high level anxiety and behavioral issues we have been working on for the last 3 years. This is not to say that we are “out of the woods” just yet, but instead to say that early intervention with the RIGHT person for your child sure does work wonders! I would do it all over again, despite the amount of money we had to put into getting the services. Our “shadow” was worth every penny and I will forever be grateful for the specialist who referred us to him and for the time and dedication he gave to our son. Always giving 100%, always open minded and always supportive.

As the years go by there will be many more highs and lows, successes and failures, yet through it all we will continue to move forward. A very wise “mentor” told me once that each time we take a few steps forward be ready for a few steps backward as well. He talked about how each time a new skill is mastered and the brain takes on more information there is always a good chance that an old behavior may resurface or a new one may come up. As we keep working with early interventionists we continue to see more happy times than sad, more smiles than tears and many more successes than failures. Any way you look at it - this is not a walk in the park BUT is a walk worth taking!